Body Rock (1984) New World/Musical-Drama RT: 94 minutes Rated PG-13 (language, sexual content, suggestive dance moves, drug and alcohol use, adult situations) Director: Marcelo Epstein Screenplay: Desmond Nakano and Kimberly Lynn White Music: Sylvester Levay Cinematography: Robby Muller Release date: November 30, 1984 (Philadelphia, PA) Cast: Lorenzo Lamas, Cameron Dye, Michelle Nicastro, Ray Sharkey, Vicki Frederick, Seth Kaufman, Rene Elizondo, Oz Rock (Adolph “Oz” Alvarez), La Ron A. Smith, Joseph Whipp, Grace Zabriskie, Tony Ganios, Carol Ita White. Box Office: $1.6M (US)
Rating: ***
Allow me to set the mood. The year is 1984 and almost all young people are into breakdancing. It was a year that saw the release of several breakdance-themed movies- e.g. Breakin’, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo and Beat Street. New World Pictures, always quick to jump on the latest popular cinema trend, came out with their own low-budget quickie Body Rock starring the graceful Lorenzo Lamas. It teaches the viewer two things: (1) friends are more important than fame and fortune and (2) if a big lug like Lamas can bust a move, so can you. The truth is Lamas can’t dance his way out of a paper bag, a liability that extends to his acting ability. His line readings are all the proof you need on that. As for the former, just imagine what Frankenstein’s monster would look like on the dance floor. That should paint a clear picture of what to expect from the movie’s lead.
That being said, I’m almost ashamed to admit I like Body Rock. It’s entertaining in the same way as Grease 2, Xanadu and Can’t Stop the Music. It’s entertains in a manner only a bad musical can achieve. The plot centers on a group of “tough” city kids who do the usual things city kids do- i.e. graffiti art and breakdance. The leader of this motley crew is Chilly D (Lamas). He’s the MC of “The Body Rock Crew”. The others are his best friend DJ E-Z (Dye, Valley Girl), rapper Jama (Kaufman, Armed and Dangerous) and dancers Snake (Elizondo, Poetic Justice), Ricky Riccardo (Oz Rock) and 11YO (Smith). They hang out at a place called The Rhythm Nation where they impress the patrons with their “fresh” dance moves.
Chilly decides to approach wealthy businessman Terrence Mitchell (Sharkey, The Idolmaker) to provide financial backing for their graffiti art. Terrence turns him down, but accepts his invitation to come to club to see their show. He’s opening a new nightclub and needs an act. This is where the trouble begins. Terrence only wants Chilly not the whole crew. Chilly initially turns down the offer but changes his tune after E-Z explains that he can bring in the others once he gets established at the club. Naturally, it doesn’t take long for simple-minded Chilly to be seduced by fame, money and a hot little number named Claire (Frederick, All the Marbles). He ends up betraying his friends and hurting his sweet girlfriend Darlene (singer Nicastro). Will he get back in their good graces? What do you think?
One of the most memorable and unintentionally hilarious sequences in Body Rock is a montage of Chilly learning how to breakdance. He has no actual function in his crew so he decides to learn the art of breakdance. As you might expect, Lamas clomping to the beat looks ridiculous. The very idea of it borders on parody or science fiction (depending on how you look at it). The only thing to do here is laugh. I’m not sure how old the characters are supposed to be. I referred to them earlier as “kids” but in truth, they look a bit long in the tooth to be engaging in their pastimes. Most of them aren’t even believable tough street youths. They’re more like white suburban teens pretending to be city kids. They talk the talk and try to walk the walk, but it never comes off as even remotely believable.
Chilly performs a few numbers at the new club, but it’s more singing than dancing as he belts out numbers like “Smooth Talker” amidst lavish sets, flashing lights and girls that look like the objects of pornographic fantasy. The music in Body Rock is actually pretty good. I’m particularly fond of “Vanishing Point” by Baxter Robinson, “Deliver” by Martin Briley, “The Closest to Love” by Ashford & Simpson and “Sharpshooter” by Laura Branigan. I still have the soundtrack on vinyl. The dance numbers that accompany some of these songs are pretty decent even if it’s obvious that some of these people can’t dance. Early on, there’s a montage of Rhythm Nation patrons showing off their moves. Some of them are good; others are just silly. The choreography tends to be clumsy despite the presence of a few decent breakers. HOWEVER, I will never be convinced what happens on stage at the fancy night club can be defined as breakdancing in any way, shape or form.
The relationship between Chilly and Darlene is sweet. The late Nicastro was a beautiful woman; it’s easy to see why the gentle giant would fall for her. It’s not so easy to see Claire’s appeal. As played by Frederick, she’s a pathetic middle-aged woman who still acts like a twenty-something party girl. In today’s vernacular, she’d be labeled a “cougar”. Call it what you want, it’s sad by any name. In any event, her character is unappealing to the max. Who in their right mind would throw over a nice girl like Darlene for this tramp?
Directed by Marcelo Epstein (his sole feature film credit), Body Rock is filled with laugh-out-loud scenes like Chilly strutting down the sidewalk like John Travolta while neighborhood kids follow. He talks to the camera at a few points. There’s also a bit where Chilly and Darlene argue and you can clearly see where they dub in “screw” for the f-word in order to obtain a more teen-friendly PG-13. It also delivers familiar scenes like Chilly realizing the error of his ways as he watches people breakdancing in the park. There is no shortage of clichés in Body Rock, that’s for sure.
Watching it now, I see that the clothes these people wear are hilariously hideous. The headbands, big high-top sneakers, running suits and dresses that look like they were patched together from the contents of a rag bag; it’s like an acid flashback to fashion hell.
In spite of its many flaws, Body Rock is an enjoyable movie. It doesn’t care about making a serious statement about some socially relevant issue. It’s about dancing and the love of it. The plot is as formulaic as they come. It’s also a great bad movie with dopey dialogue, unconvincing acting and hilarious attempts at breakdancing. It makes so many wrong moves, you wonder if the makers researched breakdancing culture beyond viewing a few music videos. In this respect, Body Rock truly rocks! I’m one of the few people that saw it at the movies. It played for exactly one week in my neck of the woods before making way for the big Christmas releases. I wore out the copy I recorded off of HBO. As you can plainly see, I’m a fan. DAMMIT! Now I want to go listen to the soundtrack.
