Last Action Hero (1993) Columbia/Action-Comedy RT: 130 minutes Rated PG-13 (language, over the top action violence, children in peril) Director: John McTiernan Screenplay: Shane Black and David Arnott Music: Michael Kamen Cinematography: Dean Semler Release date: June 18, 1993 (US) Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, F. Murray Abraham, Art Carney, Robert Prosky, Austin O’Brien, Anthony Quinn, Charles Dance, Mercedes Ruehl, Frank McRae, Tom Noonan, Ian McKellen, Professor Toru Tanaka, Joan Plowright, Noah Emmerich, Tina Turner, Bridgette Wilson, Danny DeVito (voice only), Sven-Ole Thorsen, Rick Ducommun, Michael V. Gazzo. Cameos: Jim Belushi, Maria Shriver, Little Richard, Sharon Stone, Robert Patrick, Chevy Chase, Karen Duffy, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Leeza Gibbons, M.C. Hammer, Melvin Van Peebles, Damon Wayans. Box Office: $50M (US)/$137.2M (World)
Rating: ***
There’s no two ways about it, Last Action Hero is a total mess, but it’s a lot of fun to watch. It helps to understand that Schwarzenegger is making fun of his own image as one of the biggest action stars of the latter half of the 20th century. It’s also a fantasy about a lonely young boy, Danny Madigan (O’ Brien, The Lawnmower Man), who finds himself involved (literally) in the action of a cop movie he’s watching by himself in a dilapidated Times Square theater on the verge of closing.
Danny lives with his widowed mother Irene (Ruehl, The Fisher King) in a rundown apartment. He loves watching movies featuring his hero, lone wolf LAPD cop Jack Slater (Schwarzenegger), while his only friend Nick (Prosky, Thief) runs the projector. The old man invites Danny to come watch the latest installment Jack Slater IV at midnight. The idea of seeing it before anybody else has the 12YO bursting at the seams. All he has to do is sneak out of the apartment while his mom’s at work.
When Danny arrives at the theater, Nick gives him a magic ticket, one that was supposedly given to him by Houdini. The ticket enables Danny to enter the movie during a wild chase scene. He ends up in the back seat of Slater’s car while the maverick cop tries to catch the bad guys who killed his favorite second-cousin (Carney, The Honeymooners). His unexplained appearance during the chase prompts Slater’s constantly screaming CO (McRae, 48 Hrs.) to assign him as Slater’s new partner. Things like this only happen in the reel world of the reel world.
The “plot” involves mob boss Tony Vivaldi (Quinn, The Greek Tycoon) and a vicious hitman called Benedict (Dance, The Golden Child) planning to take over the entire drug trade in Los Angeles. Only Slater stands in their way. That is, when he’s not getting pestered by Danny who keeps trying to prove that he’s not really Jack Slater, but an actor named Arnold Schwarzenegger. He tries to convince Slater that his life is just a movie, not reality. He continuously points out things that wouldn’t happen in his universe.
Things for the mismatched pair get worse when Benedict gets his hands on Danny’s half of the magic ticket and enters the real world. That’s where he plans to take out the actor Schwarzenegger because without the actor, there would be no Jack Slater, right? And what better way to lure him to his death than playing on the trauma of the death of Slater’s young son at the hands of a hideous axe-wielding creep called “The Ripper” (Noonan, Manhunter). That’s as good a plot synopsis as anybody else could come up with. Am I right?
A lot of money was spent making Last Action Hero which died a quick death at the box office that summer. It didn’t give Arnold’s fans what they wanted, straight-up action and a lot of bloody, excessive violence. It carried a more family-friendly PG-13 in hopes that it would attract young audiences. Even with the fantasy element, it was still too violent for kids under 12. Many of the jokes would likely go over their heads too. Come to think of it, some will go over the heads of adults, especially those without inside knowledge of the film industry as it relates to the action genre in general and Schwarzenegger in particular.
Allow me to point out a few of the funnier bits. The opening credits to Jack Slater IV announce that it’s a Franco Columbu film. He’s not a real director; he’s one of Ah-nuld’s body-building pals. Not everybody would know that. Fans will get a kick out of Slater/Schwarzenegger getting hit with the sudden realization that “I’ll be back.” is his main catchphrase. Danny points it out to the surprised character/actor. In another scene, Slater pays a visit to his college student daughter Whitney (Wilson, Billy Madison). The whole bit is a funny swipe at young first-time actresses hired more for their hotness than their limited acting ability. Watch how Wilson plays it. She’s acting that badly on purpose, it’s so obvious. In addition, there are references to Clash of the Titans, Amadeus and The Seventh Seal that only a real movie fan would appreciate.
Last Action Hero, while fun, has more than its fair share of flaws which, I suppose, might be intentional on the part of director John McTiernan (Predator, Die Hard). Remember, it’s supposed to be a goof on the big, explosion-filled action flicks that defined Schwarzenegger’s career up to that point. In which case, certain things can be overlooked or at least given a pass. Take the film’s tonal issues. McTiernan struggles to strike the right balance of action, comedy and fantasy. He just can’t find it; consequently, the movie doesn’t quite come together like it should, resulting in an uneven joy ride.
In its defense, Last Action Hero is an ambitious piece. It really tries to be “The Big Ticket for ‘93” as promised on the poster. Sadly, it had the misfortune of opening just one week after the real big ticket movie of the summer Jurassic Park roared into cinemas and stomped all over the competition. Who would have thought Ah-nuld couldn’t handle a few prehistoric foes?
The truth is Last Action Hero isn’t anywhere near as bad as its reputation suggests. Oh, it’s a big lumbering mess alright. It’s like the big, shaggy dog that makes a mess while tearing through the house. He drives you nuts, but you love him anyway. This movie basically does the same thing. As lovable as this mutt is, it’s far from perfect. The screenplay, credited to Shane Black (Lethal Weapon) and David Arnott (The Adventures of Ford Fairlane), shows signs of multiple rewrites and changes with the convoluted storyline. It runs longer than it needs to, eventually wearing out in welcome in the final, excitement-filled finale. While it was a stroke of brilliance having Slater and Schwarzenegger meet face-to-face at the premiere of Jack Slater IV, McTiernan botches it by only having them exchange a few words. Wouldn’t it have been funnier and more meta to have the real Schwarzenegger get caught up in the action?
Last Action Hero works best when it pokes fun at the usual conventions of action flicks like the cranky commanding officer who doesn’t approve of Slater’s methods (McRae goofing on his character in 48 Hrs.), the cop who dies a few days before his retirement and the friend (Abraham, Amadeus) who turns out to be a foe. I just wish that McTiernan could have found the way to bring together the various aspects of the film. Big action movies are a great target for parody and while Last Action Hero succeeds in being entertaining, one wishes more could have been done with the idea. Overall, I do like it. It’s fun and the unusually large cast (most of whom have brief walk-ons) appears to be in on the joke with their tongue-in-cheek performances. I love the cartoon cat that works for the LAPD. Schwarzenegger looks like he’s having a ball making fun of his own screen image. There’s a lot to like about Last Action Hero. So what if it wasn’t the blockbuster the studio hoped for? It’s better than okay in my book.
