Twins (1988) Universal/Comedy RT: 107 minutes Rated PG (language, violence, some sexual content) Director: Ivan Reitman Screenplay: William Davies, William Osborne, Timothy Harris and Herschel Weingrod Music: Georges Delerue and Randy Edelman Cinematography: Andrzej Bartkowiak Release date: December 9, 1988 (US) Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston, Chloe Webb, Bonnie Bartlett, Trey Wilson, Marshall Bell, David Caruso, Hugh O’Brian, Nehemiah Persoff, Maury Chaykin, Tony Jay. Box Office: $112M (US)/$216M (World)
Rating: ***
Twins is the first time Arnold Schwarzenegger made an intentional comedy. Much to everybody’s surprise, the action behemoth from Austria can also be funny when he tries to be. Who knew he had the gift?
The premise of Twins is fairly intelligent. It starts with a scientific experiment to create a child that is perfect in every way- physically, intellectually and morally. This requires the sperm of six different men, all experts in their fields and one woman who can carry the child to term. The outcome is unexpected to say the least. They got the child they wanted Julius and one they didn’t expect, his fraternal twin Vincent. The scientist conducting the experiment, Dr. Traven (Persoff, Some Like It Hot), decides to hide the truth from all involved parties, separating the boys at birth and telling them their mother died in childbirth. The mother was told Julius died at birth and not a thing about Vincent.
35 years later, the twins couldn’t have turned out more differently. Julius (Schwarzenegger) was raised on a tropical island away from the world by another of the scientists, kindly Professor Werner (Jay, Time Bandits). He had every advantage and turned out great. He’s a perfect specimen of mankind, physically, intellectually and mentally. Vincent (DeVito), who was raised by nuns in an orphanage, is the complete opposite of his brother. He’s a dishonest little con man and car thief who only looks out for his own interests.
When Julius is told on his 35th birthday he has a twin brother, he immediately sets out for L.A. to find him. He senses he’s in some kind of trouble and he’s right. Vincent owes some loan sharks $20,000 and they intend to hurt him badly if he doesn’t pay up. After a search, during which naïve Julius experiences the world for the first time, he manages to locate his brother in jail where he tells him the news about them being twin brothers. Vincent doesn’t believe a word of it, but he goes along with it long enough for Julius to pay his bail.
Julius wants Vincent to join him in the search for their mother who might be alive and well in New Mexico. The little guy joins him, but not for that reason. It turns out the car Julius unknowingly helped him steal earlier has something valuable in the trunk, a prototype fuel injector worth $5 million to crooked Texas businessman McKinley (Wilson, Raising Arizona). He decides to deliver it himself which does not set well with the original delivery guy, a violent psycho named Webster (Bell, Total Recall). He goes looking for Vincent.
The guys are joined on their road trip by Vincent’s girlfriend Linda (Webb, Sid and Nancy) and her sister Marnie (Preston, Secret Admirer). She has the hots for Julius, he’s unaware of it. He has no experience with women. He has no idea what he’s supposed to do. It’s a good thing more experienced brother Vincent is there to teach him the finer points of dating in the 80s. Marnie teaches him…. well, something a little more advanced.
Directed by Ivan Reitman (Stripes), Twins is a delightful surprise mainly because of Schwarzenegger. He delivers a sweet performance as a grown man new to the ways of the world. He’s like a wide-eyed child walking the streets of L.A. taking in the sights. He’s a good man who doesn’t twice about helping others, especially his brother whose butt he saves more than once from the toughs sent to collect the money owed to them by Vincent. Hey, it wouldn’t be a true Schwarzenegger movie without a few scenes of the big guy beating the crap out of a few deserving souls. At the same time, this being a PG comedy, he tries to reason with them first.
By this point in his career, DeVito has perfected the role of nasty little man. Don’t forget he played mean boss Louie DePalma on Taxi once upon a time. And what about Sam Stone in Ruthless People, a rotten SOB to end all rotten SOBs? He’s great as Vincent, a selfish man who has a change of heart when he finds he has family. One of the best parts of Twins is the chemistry shared by the two actors. Who would have thought it would work? It’s the little things that they do that really complete the picture. Even though they are completely different people, they have certain little idiosyncrasies in common, like how they prepare to eat a meal or use a public restroom. They perform these little acts in perfect synch with one another. It’s both flawless and hilarious.
The supporting cast does a great job too. Webb is really sweet as Linda, the girlfriend with a heart of gold and the patience of a saint with him sleeping around then coming back to hit her up for money. The late Preston is perfect as the girl intrigued by Julius’ sweet nature even though she can’t stand his twin brother. I don’t want to say too much about Bonnie Bartlett (Little House on the Prairie) or her character except that she’s a feisty old lady. Bell is perfect as the villain of the piece.
There are plenty of funny bits in Twins, especially the throwaway gag about Julius being unimpressed by a movie poster featuring a very muscular Sylvester Stallone in Rambo III. They’re pals in real life; they like to kid with each other.
You can’t really put down a good-natured comedy like Twins. It sets out to entertain its audience and succeeds in that respect. So what if it runs a little longer than it should? It’s so darn entertaining, you won’t care or even notice. Arnold’s character is so sweet and nice that you almost forget about the body count he’s racked up in all of his other movies. You almost can’t believe he’s the same guy who took on a seven-foot alien, a 36-foot long snake and armies of bad guys by himself. Welcome to the lighter side of Arnold Schwarzenegger, a nice place to visit.
