Van Nuys Blvd. (1979) Crown International Pictures/Comedy-Drama RT: 93 minutes Rated R (language, mild violence, nudity, sexual content) Director: William Sachs Screenplay: William Sachs Music: Ken Mansfield and Ron Wright Cinematography: Joseph Mangine Release date: March 1979 (US) Cast: Bill Adler, Cynthia Wood, Dennis Stewart, Melissa Prophet, David Hayward, Tara Stroheimer, Dana Gladstone, Di Ann Monaco, Don Sawyer, Jim Kester, Minnie E. Lindsey, The Kansas City Kings Glitter Girls. Box Office: N/A
Rating: ***
Allow me to paint a mental picture for you. Don’t worry, it’s a nice one. Now imagine it’s a warm summer night in 1979. You’re 18 years old and heading to the drive-in movie with your best girl. You’re listening to disco music on the radio (most likely a Donna Summer song). It’s your first car and you fixed it up yourself, so you know it runs like a mother. You finally reach your destination and pay the admission to the middle-aged guy in the little booth. After a quick concession stand run for two Cokes, a box of Raisinets and a buttered tub, you’re ready for the picture to start.
The sun finally goes down enough for the evening’s entertainment to commence. The first of two features is a breezy little comedy called Van Nuys Blvd. There’s really not too much to it so after the first ten minutes you stop paying attention to the movie and start making out with your date. It’s an amusing little movie and simple enough to follow even if you only sporadically look at the screen. That’s what we call a “make out movie”. Now isn’t that a nice scenario? If only I was old enough to have actually lived it.
I saw Van Nuys Blvd. at home on VHS on a small screen TV. I still liked it, but it would be nice to have actually seen one of these drive-in type movies at an actual drive-in movie theater. Van Nuys Blvd. doesn’t have much of a plot; it’s more of a “slice-of-life” flick set over the course of a few days in a place that no longer exists. I’m talking about the “cruise scene” of the 70s on Van Nuys Blvd. in Los Angeles. Back in the day, it was a very lively area where guys went to show off their rides and pick up chicks. The movie perfectly captures the spirit of the time in this sweeter than expected T&A comedy that moves to a cool disco beat. You can’t beat California living in the 70s!
In lieu of a traditional plot, Van Nuys Blvd. introduces us to the central characters, lays out a general premise and goes where the day takes it. In that sense, it’s similar to American Graffiti. First we meet Bobby (Adler, The Pom Pom Girls), a small-town guy who wants more excitement out of life. When he hears about the exciting night life on the eponymous road, he jumps into his van and makes a beeline for it.
Upon arrival, Bobby pulls into a drive-in hamburger joint and immediately gets seduced by the sexy and horny carhop Wanda (Stroheimer). We’ll get back to Bobby in a minute. On another part of the boulevard, Greg (Stewart) spots a beautiful girl in the car next to him at a gas station and immediately identifies her as the girl he’s dreamed about for the past three nights. He goes over to tell Camille (Prophet) about this despite her jealous boyfriend standing nearby. Greg gets punched out by said boyfriend which leads to both guys trashing each other’s cars. Camille wants no part of this mess so she hitches a ride with her friend Moon (1974 Playboy Playmate of the Year Wood). The ladies end up at the same drive-in as Bobby where Moon challenges him to a drag race on Raymer Street.
All of the aforementioned characters end up in the local jail courtesy of ball-busting, kid-hating Officer Albert Zass (Gladstone). Sharing their cell is Chooch (Hayward), an aging stud who’s a regular on “Cruise Nights” (that’s Wednesday to you) on the boulevard. They all become instant friends and spend the next few days hanging out. They hit an amusement park (Magic Mountain in Valencia), the discotheque and the local arcade. Bobby and Moon hook up even though they still insist on racing each other. Greg hooks up with Camille (as expected). As for Chooch, he hooks up with Wanda the horny carhop. The usual misadventures ensue and Officer Zass gets his comeuppance in a most humiliating way. And there you have it, Van Nuys Blvd. described!
How can one criticize a movie like Van Nuys Blvd. that’s simply meant to be enjoyed? It’s not fine cinema, it was never meant to be. It’s merely a pretty good example of the type of mindless flick that teens would flock to see at the drive-in on warm summer nights. Mindless is the key word here because, like the central characters, the movie barely has a brain in its empty head. What is does have is a whole lot of cool rides! The cars, the hot rods, the custom vans ….. all totally bad ass!
What else does Van Nuys Blvd. have? Hot babes! Cheesy disco music! Lots of gratuitous T&A! Dumb gags! All the essential components for an effective 70s drive-in comedy. It stars Bill Adler who was Crown International’s go-to guy with roles in other T&A comedies like The Pom Pom Girls, Malibu Beach and The Van. He’s not much of an actor, but he’s a likable sort of lug. Writer/director William Sachs (The Incredible Melting Man, Galaxina) attempts to add some drama to the mix by having Chooch realize that he might be getting too old for this kid stuff. The female leads are definitely attractive!
In the end, Van Nuys Blvd. is a nice little slice of nostalgia for a time that’s never coming back. It’s a fun little movie with decent production values. It’s one of those flicks that you can watch with your brain shut off for the evening. Returning to our happy couple at the drive-in theater, the movie ends and they decide to take a breather before the next feature begins. She looks for her shoes while he makes a trip to the men’s room. It’s been an awesome night so far and hopefully it will keep getting better. For now, they are in love and in a very happy place. Isn’t this what being young is all about? Ah, sweet memories of summers gone by. What could be better?
