Malibu Beach (1978) Crown International/Comedy RT: 96 minutes Rated R (nudity, sex, language, drug and alcohol use) Director: Robert J. Rosenthal Screenplay: Celia Susan Cotelo and Robert J. Rosenthal Music: Michael Lloyd Cinematography: Jamie Anderson Release date: June 1978 (US) Cast: Kim Lankford, James Daughton, Susan Player Jarreau, Michael Luther, Stephen Oliver, Flora Plumb, Roger Lawrence Pierce, Sherry Lee Marks, Tara Strohmeier, Rory Stevens, Parris Clifton Buckner, Bruce Kimball, Bill Adler, Jim Kester, Diana Herbert, Walter Maslow, Marty Rogainy. Box Office: N/A
Rating: ***
Who needs a plot when you have boobs, beer, hot babes and hot cars? This appears to be the mentality behind Malibu Beach, a soft-headed teensploitation movie in which the teen characters hang out at the beach by day and cruise the clubs on the Strip by night. There are a few storylines, but nothing of any real consequence. Once again, we’re talking about a movie made for the drive-in crowd, not the most discriminating audience in the world. Besides, who says they’re there to watch the movie?
We open on the last day of school before summer vacation. The students of Malibu High are in celebration mode. Three whole months of nothing to do but hang out, cruise, party and look for love. Dina (Lankford, The Octagon) has a summer job as a lifeguard at the beach. She hooks up with Bobby (Daughton, Animal House), a blonde bonehead with a bright future as a full-time beach bum. His best friend Paul (Luther) gets involved with Dina’s dim best friend Sally (Jarreau, The Pom Pom Girls). Among the regulars at Malibu Beach is our old pal Dugan (Oliver) from The Van. He’s still a jerk. He too wants to get with Dina and can’t stand that she only has eyes for Bobby. This sets off a rivalry that leads not to a drag race, but a swimming contest.
That about does it for what passes as the plot in Malibu Beach. It’s okay though because there’s plenty else going on. There are a couple of cops too busy with their own vices to spoil the kids’ good time. The older fat one (Kimball, Drive-In Massacre) sits in a bar drinking milk and scotch while the young skinny one (Buckner) gets stoned with the teens. He ends up falling for Margie (Marks), the cute girl who works at the beach snack bar. There’s the teacher (Plumb) who’s a completely different person outside the classroom. Dugan tries his luck with her only to fail hard. There’s a bratty kid (Rogainy) who loves pestering other beachgoers. Bobby and Dugan play a game of chicken that ends with a stolen police car being totaled. The stakes of the climactic swim race are raised by the appearance of a shark so obviously fake, it makes the great white in Jaws 3D look positively realistic. Genre mainstay Bill Adler cameos as a local tough who pays a high price for messing with Paul’s car. Then there’s my favorite part of all, the dog that sneaks up on female sunbathers and steals their tops causing them to run after the perverted pooch with their boobs a-jiggling. Now that’s what I call a neat trick.
What else can I say about Malibu Beach that I haven’t already said about the other teensploitation movies I watched this week? I like its easy-going So-Cal vibe. It has handsome guys and gorgeous gals, sunny beaches and hazy cinematography. It has disco dancing and recycled rock songs from other Crown International drive-in comedies. It has a lot of hot classic cars for all you gearheads. It’s neither mean-spirited nor hateful towards the opposite sex. It never takes itself seriously. It’s funny without being offensive. Best of all, it doesn’t require the viewer to use his or her brain, not even once. It’s all rather innocent actually. But like I said, I’ve said these same things about other Crown teensploitation titles. What’s different about Malibu Beach? Absolutely nothing! It’s fun but let’s face it, these movies are interchangeable, aren’t they? This isn’t a criticism, but a statement of fact. And it’s a good thing teenage Movie Guy loves this kind of flick. The serious film critic does not which is why the other guy is writing this review.
