Blink Twice (2024) MGM/Comedy-Thriller RT: 102 minutes Rated R (strong violent content, sexual assault, drug use and language throughout, some sexual references) Director: Zoe Kravitz Screenplay: Zoe Kravitz and E.T. Feigenbaum Music: Chanda Dancy Cinematography: Adam Newport-Berra Release date: August 23, 2024 (US) Cast: Naomi Ackie, Channing Tatum, Alia Shawkat, Christian Slater, Simon Rex, Adria Arjona, Haley Joel Osment, Liz Caribel, Levon Hawke, Trew Mullen, Geena Davis, Kyle MacLachlan, Cris Costa, Maria Elena Olivares, Saul Williams, Tiffany Persons, Aaron Himelstein.
Rating: *
It’s not enough to blink; you should close your eyes altogether when it comes to Blink Twice, a movie as empty and vacuous as the characters it depicts. Once again, I found myself face to face with a group of characters I couldn’t stand. I’m talking, of course, about the idle rich who spend their days and nights doing nothing productive, choosing instead to engage in immoral, illegal activity without a single thought as to who they’re hurting. Why? Because they can afford it, that’s why. I don’t even want to spend five minutes with a**holes like these much less 102 minutes.
Channing Tatum (Magic Mike) plays Slater King, a tech billionaire who steps down as CEO of his company for some unspecified offense. He’s taking the time to work on himself on his own private island. He says he wants to do better, but we all know better. In any event, this guy is a colossal d-bag and so are his friends, a collection of entitled alpha males who exist only to worship their leader and follow his lead in every endeavor.
Cocktail waitress Frida (Ackie, I Wanna Dance with Somebody) talks Slater up at some gala affair and manages to wrangle an invite for her and her bff Jess (Shawkat, Green Room) to join him and his entourage on his island for some R&R, the type that’s neither restful nor relaxing. They joined by other young women like Sarah (Arjona, Emerald City), a former reality show contestant who hates being called “babe”. Slater’s cabal of miscreants includes Tom (Osment, The Sixth Sense), Cody (Rex, Red Rocket), Lucas (Hawke, son of Ethan & Uma) and Vic (Slater, Heathers). His older sister Stacy (Davis, Thelma & Louise) serves as his personal assistant.
It goes without saying something sinister is going on in this private paradise. I won’t say exactly what, but I’ll provide a clue that will surely point you in the right direction. Blink Twice opens with a trigger warning stating the movie contains depictions of sexual assault. That’s a first for me. I’ve never seen a film open like that. It must be a woke thing. In any event, it’s a plot spoiler because now we know to expect it at some point.
I saw two movies last night starting with the remake of The Crow. It was terrible. I hoped the second film Blink Twice would be better. It’s not. It’s just as bad, but for different reasons. Whereas The Crow was dull and devoid of emotional content, Blink Twice is annoying and wrong-headed. Zoe Kravitz, a talented actress making her directorial debut, fails in her attempt to fashion a thriller with a satirical edge. The film seems to think it has something important to say about male entitlement, but it doesn’t go beyond its thesis. It’s disappointingly superficial. It also wants to skewer the 1% and their lack of humanity, but falls short in that area as well. The Menu did it much more effectively.
The thriller elements of Blink Twice fall flat too. I never once felt thrilled or intrigued. I didn’t even feel engaged. I kind of knew where it was going. The only thing I didn’t see coming was an 11th hour revelation concerning Frida. It’s nothing to do with the film being clever which it most definitely is not. It was more a matter of indifference. I reached the point of not caring early on so I didn’t feel compelled to make predictions about the plot. I just wanted it to be over so I could go home.
What’s there to say about the acting? The actors succeed in portraying hateful, shallow people who embody every negative characteristic of the rich and aimless. I despised them all. If that’s what they were going for, they did it. That being said, Tatum is as wooden as ever as Slater. The guy’s a creep, no question about it. He weaponizes and wields his power to give himself a greater sense of self-importance yet he never comes off as particularly threatening. He’s more like a dumb frat boy at a never-ending party. Ackie is just okay as the heroine. Arjona is better as the initially hostile party guest who becomes her strongest ally.
Then there’s that ending. It’s supposed to be an affirmation of female empowerment. It comes off as phony and pretentious instead. The best satirical pieces end with a wink and a smile. This feels more like a smirk and the middle finger. It’s the rotted cherry on a turd sundae.
I can see why the studio opted to dump Blink Twice into multiplexes in late August. It’s a lousy picture. It’s pointless, annoying and shallow. Apparently I’m not alone in my dislike of this cinematic stink bomb. The guy sitting behind me walked out about midway through. I think another couple got up and left shortly after he did. Me, I stuck it out until the end. The things I do for the moviegoing public. I took a bullet for you, YOU’RE WELCOME!
