8 Million Ways to Die (1986) TriStar/Action-Thriller RT: 115 minutes Rated R (language, strong violence, nudity, sexual content, drug use) Director: Hal Ashby Screenplay: Oliver Stone and David Lee Henry (pseudonym for Robert Towne) Music: James Newton Howard Cinematography: Stephen H. Burum Release date: May 23, 1986 (Philadelphia, PA) Cast: Jeff Bridges, Rosanna Arquette, Alexandra Paul, Andy Garcia, Randy Brooks, Vyto Ruginis, Tom “Tiny” Lister Jr., Lisa Sloan, Christa Denton, James Avery. Box Office: $1.3M (US)
Rating: ***
8 Million Ways to Die, the final film from director Hal Ashby, is a strange movie. It’s a noirish piece about an alcoholic ex-cop investigating the murder of a prostitute who hired him to protect her from some sleazy criminal types. Dumped by its studio into a late April release date, it was universally panned by critics and ignored by audiences.
It made its way to my neck of the woods on Memorial Day weekend. It didn’t stand a chance opening as it did against two major league heavy-hitters- the Sylvester Stallone actioner Cobra and the horror sequel Poltergeist II: The Other Side. I went to see it that Sunday afternoon at a theater where I usually got in for free courtesy of classmates that worked there. At the time, I liked it. I didn’t yet have the knowledge or resources to examine the so-called bigger picture.
I recently came across a copy of 8 Million Ways to Die and decided to view it again to see what I think of it now. I still like it, but there is something off about the movie. I don’t think it’s the fault of the director who was fired after filming was completed. It was reportedly edited without his input which could account for the schizophrenic nature of the picture. It’s based on a series of novels by Lawrence Block, but since I never read any of them, I can’t comment on whether or not the movie gets it right.
Los Angeles County Sherriff Matt Scudder (Bridges, Jagged Edge) goes into a downward spiral after fatally shooting a suspect in front of his wife and children. His drunken binge results in the end of his career and marriage. It also jeopardizes his relationship with his teenage daughter. Six months later, a sober Matt appears to be getting his act together. He’s approached by Sunny (Paul, Christine), a high-end prostitute who pays him to accompany her to a party at the home of reformed drug dealer Chance (Brooks, Reservoir Dogs). Looking to get out of the life, she claims to be in fear for her life from her employers. Sadly, there’s only one way out for Sunny.
Long story short, Sunny gets murdered right in front of Matt, an act that sends him on another bender. When he comes around, he’s determined to uncover the identity of her killer. It’s really no secret who did it. It’s the slick, sleazy drug dealer Angel (Garcia, The Untouchables) who Matt met at Chance’s party. He recruits another prostitute, the tough, no-nonsense Sarah (Arquette, Desperately Seeking Susan), to aid him in his efforts. Along the way, the two make a connection, but who didn’t see that coming?
All in all, I don’t think 8 Million Ways to Die is all that bad a picture. It’s certainly not the colossal stinker everybody makes it out to be anyway. It’s a deeply flawed movie, that’s for sure. But I like what Ashby appears to be going for. It has the mood and tone of a 70s movie. It favors character development over action. It has the building blocks of a much better film. It’s sad that it serves as his swan song (Ashby died in ’88), especially since his filmography includes several great titles- e.g. Harold and Maude, The Last Detail, Shampoo, Bound for Glory, Coming Home and Being There. It’s a big step down from these classics, but like I said it’s not his fault. It would have been interesting to see how the movie would have turned out had he been allowed to see it through to completion.
However, Ashby nailed it in terms of casting the lead role. You can never go wrong with Jeff Bridges. This guy is an amazing actor; it’s criminal that Hollywood didn’t give him his proper dues until much later in his career. Again, I don’t know if Bridges’ take on Matt Scudder is anything like the books, but he does a great job in 8 Million Ways to Die. He convincingly plays a recovering alcoholic who overestimates his readiness to handle the job of protecting somebody from violent criminals. Arquette, while talented, is miscast as the bitter, tough-talking Sarah. She’s just not believable in this role. It feels forced and artificial. Paul is a rather one-note actress, but she does okay here. Garcia underplays his part to little effect. I never felt a sense of danger or menace exuding from his sharply-dressed character.
The screenplay was written by Oliver Stone and Robert Towne (using the pseudonym “David Lee Henry”). Reportedly, Stone wanted his name removed from the credits after seeing the final version of the film. It bore little resemblance to his original script. Given Ashby’s predilection for improvising dialogue with the actors, it doesn’t come as any surprise this is the case.
Taken as a whole, 8 Million Ways to Die is uneven. It doesn’t know whether it wants to be a violent cop movie, character study or love story. It’s an uneasy mixture at best, but it’s not unwatchable. I got a real kick out of the bad dialogue. I’ll give you a few samples:
Sarah (to Matt): “You’re just an opportunistic prick who’d f*** mud if it’d move a little and not argue too much.”
Sunny: “The street light makes my pussy hair glow in the dark- cotton candy.”
Matt: “Yeah, there are eight millions stories in the naked city. Remember that old TV show? What we have in this town is eight million ways to die.”
If you do remember the old TV show Naked City, you’ll have a good laugh with that last line.
I can see why critics and audiences didn’t like 8 Million Ways to Die. As usual, I stand firmly in the minority. It’s by no means a great picture. It has pacing issues, miscasting and a general sense of unevenness. It’s all over the map. I’ll list this one under Bad Movies I Like.
