3000 Miles to Graceland (2001) Warner Bros./Action-Comedy RT: 125 minutes Rated R (strong violence, sexuality, language) Director: Demian Lichtenstein Screenplay: Richard Recco and Demian Lichtenstein Music: George S. Clinton and Richard Meijer Cinematography: David Franco Release date: February 23, 2001 (US) Cast: Kurt Russell, Kevin Costner, Courteney Cox, Christian Slater, Kevin Pollak, David Arquette, Jon Lovitz, Howie Long, Thomas Haden Church, Bokeem Woodbine, Ice-T, David Kaye, Louis Lombardi, Paul Anka, Daisy McCrackin. Box Office: $15.7M (US)/$18.7M (World)
Rating: ***
We learned about author John Updike in my junior year literature class and how he came up with ideas for his short stories. It’s one of the few things I remember learning in high school. By way of illustration, let’s briefly examine one of his best known works “A&P”. Mrs. Lockhart (a lovely teacher) said that what he’d do is randomly pick out four things- for example, the product being advertised on the first billboard he saw, something in a store window or the store he stopped in front of at a traffic light- and build a story around them. In the case of “A&P”, if memory serves, it was a can of herring, bathing suits, a box of Hi-Ho crackers and an A&P supermarket. What I’m wondering is if the makers of 3000 Miles to Graceland were influenced by Updike in any way. Among the plot elements are Elvis impersonators, a casino robbery, Paul Anka, an antique dealer, wombats and jelly sandwiches. It all amounts to one wild ride.
I’ll tell you right now that 3000 Miles to Graceland is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. I think it’s cool which puts me in the minority. Critics savaged it; audiences avoided it. It cost a lot to make ($62 million) and didn’t even make back half its budget. I’ve not met a single person that likes it (at least no one that will admit it). It has all the earmarks of a fiasco; it’s loud, violent, mean-spirited, incoherent, misogynistic and dumb. It’s uneven in tone and leaves certain plot points unexplained, especially where Courteney Cox’s character is concerned.
3000 Miles to Graceland is a bad movie, I’ll concede on that point. But it’s a GREAT bad movie. It has a cool cast (led by Kurt Russell), cool vintage cars, bad ass weaponry, strong violence and Ice-T (in a small role). It’s not your typical no honor among thieves actioner as it bears the influences of Tarantino (Reservoir Dogs, True Romance) AND Viva Las Vegas. It’s an odd mixture; it doesn’t exactly go down smoothly, but it’s not an unpleasant taste either.
Recent parolee Michael (Russell, The Thing) stops at a rundown motel outside Vegas where he meets single mom Cybil (Cox, Friends) after her young son Jesse (Kaye) tries to steal the skull-shaped air valve caps from his 1957 Cadillac. A scene or two later, Michael and Cybil end up in bed together while the kid sneaks in and helps himself to money from Michael’s wallet. That night, Michael meets up with the crew- Hanson (Slater, Heathers), Gus (Arquette, Ready to Rumble) and Franklin (Woodbine, Dead Presidents)- led by Murphy (Costner, The Untouchables), a chain-smoking sociopath with a thing for Elvis. The plan is to rob a casino during an Elvis convention dressed as…. that’s right, Elvis impersonators. The robbery is a bloody one. They manage to escape after a violent gun battle throughout the casino. Four of them make it back to the motel where they argue over how the money will be split now that there’s one less person. We all know how things like this typically end, violently. When all is said and done, Murphy is the last man standing or so he thinks. It turns out Michael expected something like this and wore a bulletproof vest. He high-tails it back to the motel, grabs the money and hits the road with Cybil and Jesse in tow. From here on in, 3000 Miles to Graceland becomes a cross-country game of cat-and-mouse with Murphy trying to get his hands on the stolen loot.
Director (and co-scribe) Demian Lichtenstein lets you know right way you’re in for a wild ride with an opening credits sequence of two computer-animated scorpions fighting. Over the next two hours, he shows he wasn’t just blowing smoke. The casino robbery/bloodbath is mighty impressive. He intercuts it with a stage show featuring Elvis impersonators and dancing girls. Either they don’t hear the ruckus or strongly believe in the adage “the show must go on”. Dozens of guards and guests are killed and the performers don’t miss a beat. Singer Paul Anka appears briefly as a pit boss who’s handy with large automatic weapons. Over the course of 3000 Miles to Graceland, Costner’s character leaves a trail of bodies for two US marshals (Pollak and Church) to follow. He blows up a gas station after killing the owner and abducting his girlfriend who he later gives to a biker gang. This movie is mad violent! Good thing I like that sort of thing.
My biggest problem with 3000 Miles to Graceland is the inconsistency with which Cox’s character is handled. Is she a prostitute? In the opening scene, she indirectly tells Michael she’ll have sex with him if he gives her money. Is she a con artist or an opportunist? And what kind of mother leaves her kid with some guy she hardly knows? At one point, she ditches Michael and takes the money, leaving him to look after the boy. What guarantee does she have that she’ll see the boy alive again? I just couldn’t figure her out. It does make for one of the movie’s more interesting relationships though. And while we’re on the subject of unresolved issues, does it strike anybody as odd that nobody makes a big deal about all the people killed during the casino robbery?
The screenplay is a bit of a mess, but that’s part of the appeal of 3000 Miles to Graceland. Let me revise that. That’s part of why the film appeals to me so much. Sometimes a movie is so bad and over the top that you have to forget everything you know about what constitutes a quality film and just enjoy the ride which I did. At one point, it’s brought up that several people filed a lawsuit against Elvis’ estate claiming that they were his illegitimate children. Can you guess which two characters were part of that suit? How about what the DNA tests revealed? Other than the Elvis connection, it has very little to do with the actual plot.
3000 Miles to Graceland has a pretty cool cast that also includes Howie Long (Broken Arrow) and Ice-T (New Jack City) as associates of Murphy. Jon Lovitz (SNL) shows up as a slimy money launderer. Russell always makes a great leading man, but what’s most interesting is that he played The King in the 1979 TV movie Elvis. Costner is pretty good playing a sociopath similar to the one he played in 1993’s A Perfect World, even abducting Jesse at one point. Even with its messy narrative and wild overediting, I really dig 3000 Miles to Graceland. It’s nuts, but fun.
