Myra Breckinridge (1970) 20th Century Fox/Comedy RT: 94 minutes Rated X (language, nudity, strong sexual content- later changed to R) Director: Michael Sarne Screenplay: Michael Sarne and David Giler Music: John Phillips Cinematography: Richard Moore Release date: June 24, 1970 (US) Cast: Mae West, John Huston, Raquel Welch, Farrah Fawcett, Rex Reed, Roger Herren, Roger C. Carmel, George Furth, Calvin Lockhart, Jim Backus, John Carradine, Andy Devine, Grady Sutton, Robert Lieb, Kathleen Freeman, Monte Landis, Tom Selleck, Toni Basil. Box Office: $4M (US & Canada)
Rating: *
An adaptation of Gore Vidal’s satirical 1968 novel, Myra Breckinridge is regarded as one of the worst films ever made. I first heard about it in the 1980 book The Golden Turkey Awards (by Michael and Harry Medved) and finally got my hands on a copy in ’98. I had an urge to rewatch it after viewing the recent documentary about Vidal (Gore Vidal: The United States of Amnesia). It certainly lives down to its reputation. This movie is a stinker! The screenplay is convoluted, the acting is monumentally bad and it’s only funny in an unintentional way.
In the pantheon of bad movies, Myra Breckinridge is epic! It stars 77YO Mae West (My Little Chickadee) as a talent agent who apparently does her best work in bed. While she receives top billing, the real star of this fiasco is Raquel Welch (One Million Years B.C.) as the eponymous character. Myra used to be Myron (film critic Reed), but that was before the sex-change operation. Myra Breckinridge is one of the first movies to deal openly with this subject and other sexually explicit matter (e.g. “pegging”).
It originally carried an X rating, but that was before the rating became synonymous with hardcore porno movies. The X rating was originally devised to indicate a film that was meant for adult audiences only. In the years since its initial release, the MPAA changed the movie’s rating to an R. Don’t misunderstand, it’s still a dirty movie. Nothing was cut from it, it’s just that times have changed and the material is no longer all that shocking. Such things are discussed on trashy TV talk shows these days. But I’m getting off-track here; the issue at hand is whether Myra Breckinridge is worth seeing. The answer is an emphatic YES, but for all the wrong reasons. If you’re looking quality cinema, don’t even bother. If you want to see a bad movie done right, by which I mean completely wrong, then you’ve struck gold!
The movie opens with Myron lying on an operating table waiting for the doctor (Carradine, Billy the Kid vs. Dracula) to remove his unwanted appendage. It then cuts to Reed and Welch dancing down the street to the sickly-sweet sound of Shirley Temple singing “You Gotta S-M-I-L-E to Be H-A-Double-P-Y” from the 1936 movie Stowaway. One of the movie glaring mistakes-in-translation is failing to make clear that Myron is a movie buff, particularly 40s movies. This helps explain all the clips from old movies inserted into the film. It also clears up the question of why the makers cast non-actor Reed in the role.
In any event, Myra goes to Hollywood on a mission of female empowerment. Claiming to be Myron’s widow, she visits his/her uncle Buck Loner (Treasure of the Sierra Madre director Huston) at his acting school (“Academy for Aspiring Young Actors and Actresses”) and demands her rightful inheritance (half of the uncle’s vast fortune). This is one weird acting school. Some of the students have been there for up to 12 years. There’s a bigger turnover in teachers than students. Myra accepts a position teaching Posture and Empathy. As for her hidden agenda, she targets a young couple at the school, aspiring starlet Mary Ann Pringle (Fawcett, Charlie’s Angels) and aspiring stud Rusty Godowski (Herren). Neither one has any discernible talent leaving one to wonder exactly how effective the school really is. In a semi-related subplot, talent agent Leticia Van Allen (West) beds clients (including a very young Tom Selleck sans moustache) in between her trademark sexual innuendo and double entendres. She also performs a song (“Hard to Handle” by Otis Redding) accompanied by a chorus line of African-American dancers (all men). Honestly, I don’t know what she has to do with the story, but that’s based solely on the movie. Again, it’s something that was lost in translation.
First, there’s something uncomfortable about an elderly woman behaving in a sexually provocative manner. In her younger years, Ms. West was a sex symbol and the movie plays on that. I get the joke, I understand the point, I get why it’s in the movie. It’s still kind of skeevy. At the same time, it’s one of the most intriguing aspects of Myra Breckinridge. Ms. West came out of retirement to do this movie which could mean two things: (1) she needed the money and (2) she’s a hell of a good sport. I don’t even dismiss the theory that she was beginning to go senile. Either way, her campy/creepy performance is preserved for all eternity.
Speaking of creepy, get a load of Huston’s character. Here’s a guy who sprinkles his cereal with testosterone instead of sugar. Buck Loner, with his cowboy persona, is the epitome of male chauvinism. If Myra Breckinridge wasn’t a satire, I’d say his character is a potential sex criminal. Speaking of sex crimes, I guess this is as good a time as any to define “pegging” for you. It’s a sexual practice in which a woman does a man anally with a strap-on dildo. Sounds lovely, no? It’s what Myra does to Rusty in one really weird scene as a means of asserting female dominance. She also tries to seduce Mary Ann as she laments over the deteriorating state of her relationship with Rusty.
In several scenes, Myron sits off the side, observing the perverted goings-on with detached delight. The only think Welch has going for her is looks; she certainly doesn’t have much in the way of acting ability. As for Fawcett, she does pretty well considering that basically plays herself, a blonde-haired airhead. If you ever saw one of her interviews, you can’t disagree with the previous statement. As for Herren, there’s a reason you never heard of him. He never made another film. He’s a rotten actor, plain and simple.
WOW! Is Myra Breckinridge ever a mess. Vidal himself disowned it, calling it “an awful joke”. I haven’t read the book, but I did read the synopsis on Wikipedia. The movie isn’t even faithful to the synopsis. This is what happens when you grant an inexperienced director like Michael Sarne complete creative control. He had one prior feature film credit, a British drama called Joanna (1968). It’s okay, I’ve never heard of it either. The biggest shock associated with Myra Breckinridge is that Sarne directed a few more movies after it. Again, none that I’ve ever heard of and neither have you.
In a strange sort of way, Myra Breckinridge is brilliant in how it perfectly straddles the line between camp and crap. It’s very poorly written, directed and acted, but it’s still watchable in the same way one watches a terrible train wreck. It’s horrifying yet you can’t avert your eyes. You just have to look. It’s billed as a comedy and it is funny, but not in the way the makers intended. You’re not laughing at it, you’re laughing AT it. I’m certain that the novel made a point about gender politics and feminism. You’re hard-pressed to find a shred of intelligence in the movie. Myra Breckinridge is gloriously, uproariously bad. It’s such an insane mess that it deserves at least one viewing. Yeah, I guess I am recommending Myra Breckinridge, but again for all the wrong reasons.
