Bruce Lee in New Guinea (1978) Four Seas/Action RT: 90 minutes Rated R (martial arts violence) Director: Chi-Yen Yang Screenplay: Ku-Yao Yang Cinematography: Wan-Chieh Li Release date: 1980 (US) Cast: Bruce Li (as “Chung Tao Ho”), Danna, Larry Lee, Sing Chen, Lik Cheung, Bolo Yeung. Box Office: N/A
Rating: ***
The title Bruce Lee in New Guinea is a misnomer on two counts. First, it does NOT star Bruce Lee but Bruce Li, the best of the Bruce Lee clones to emerge after the actor/martial artist’s death in 1973, a full five years before this movie was made. Second, I don’t care what the title says, that is NOT New Guinea. It doesn’t even remotely resemble Papua New Guinea. It’s Taiwan doubling for the Pacific island. I just wanted to set the record straight.
I first saw Bruce Lee in New Guinea on TV in May ’82. One of the local UHF channels did a Saturday night martial arts double feature consisting of it and Bruce Lee’s Greatest Revenge (actually Bruce Le). It was the first time such movies were shown on regular TV; I could barely contain my excitement over the prospect of seeing the kinds of movies that typically played at drive-ins or urban theaters in my own bedroom. What I didn’t know at the time was that it was my introduction to “Bruceploitation”. My affection for Bruce Lee in New Guinea continues to this day. How can I not appreciate a movie that uses “Bongo Rock” (by The Incredible Bongo Band) as the opening theme?
The plot centers on this anthropologist Wan Li (Li) who joins his friend Chin Sang (Larry Lee) on an expedition to Snake Island, a fictional place off the coast of New Guinea. He wants to study their style of martial arts while his buddy wants to learn about the native people (“The Snake Tribe”) and their ways. It’s an ill-advised trip with all the turmoil on the island. It’s been taken over by “The Devil Sect”, a splinter tribe led by “The Great Wizard” (Chen), a villain who posses superior fighting skills and supernatural powers.
Led by a couple of goofball guides, Wan and Chin encounter Chang Pow (Cheung), an acquaintance of Chin’s who’s come is search of the Snake Pearl, an object of worship for the tribe. It has magical powers, of course. Eventually, they run into the Wizard who bests Wan in a fight by poking him with his poison ring. Near death, he’s found by Princess Ankawa (Danna) who nurses him back to health as only a hot island girl can. Forced to leave the island, Wan returns some time later (a year I think) for a rematch with the Wizard.
I’ve told you the plot of Bruce Lee in New Guinea, but that’s not even half of it. This martial arts flick is freaking goofy! It’s almost as silly as The Clones of Bruce Lee. That one had metal-skinned assassins. This one has a gorilla bodyguard. Well, a guy in a gorilla suit, but it still counts. He’s Ankawa’s main protector; you should see how he deals with a pair of randy natives giving female swimmers a hard time on the beach. The two guides that take the heroes around the island are a couple of cross-eyed clowns who never fail to back away from a fight.
You want more silliness? You got it! At one point, the Wizard’s crybaby son tries to force Ankawa to accept his marriage proposal by placing a curse on her baby (yep, it’s Wan’s!) with the pearl. In what has to be the worst special effect in movie history, a snake is superimposed on the baby’s face. It’s weird and hilarious at the same time. Back home, Wan has this annoying first cousin who has the hots for him. Apparently, this is acceptable in China. Who knew? It doesn’t matter anyway since there’s only one girl for Wan. The princess made sure of this by slipping him a magic Mickey before he left not-New Guinea, one that makes him look like a giant serpent whenever another woman gets too close. I wonder how many wives and girlfriends will try to Google the recipe upon watching the movie.
Is it even necessary to discuss details like quality, performance or basic filmmaking skills? That’s an emphatic NO! A movie like Bruce Lee in New Guinea doesn’t call for it. It’s a kung fu cheapie which means lousy acting, cheap production values, poorly synched sound effects and dopey dialogue badly dubbed in English (the only way to watch one of these, am I right?). That being said, I do like Bruce Li. He’s a great fighter and not too bad an actor. Danna is a hottie who unfortunately can’t act. Chen chews up the scenery as the Wizard. SPOILER ALERT! His death scene is a masterpiece of overacting. The director is a guy named Chi-Yen Yang who worked on other kung fu movies in different capacities until ’78 when he evidently dropped off the face of the planet. According to IMDb, it’s the last time he worked.
The credited writer is a jiahuo (Chinese for “guy”) named Ku-Yao Yang, but I didn’t know these things even had scripts. Either way, it’s a first class hack job. Some things don’t make sense like the sudden appearance of three Americans also looking for the Snake Pearl in the final 20 minutes. The only reason I can think of for them being there is it gives Wan three more people to beat up. It tries to generate suspense in regards to Wan’s experience on Snake Island after his fight with the Wizard. He returns home changed after his long absence. He has dreams of Ankawa. He freaks out his cousin. What happened to our hero in that cursed place? We find out courtesy of an extended flashback. Isn’t it funny how much can be said about things that don’t matter in the slightest?
To its credit, there’s a fight every few minutes in Bruce Lee in New Guinea. Some of it involves the actors flying around on wires. One fight involves an opponent getting his eyes gouged out. All of it is cool! This is the real reason to watch any of these dumb-fu movies, right?
The DVD copy of Bruce Lee in New Guinea I own is the TV cut meaning two uses of the term “bastard” are bleeped out and a few scenes are edited out- i.e. the Wan-Ankawa sex scene (a little T&A) and a scene of girls swimming with their tops off. They can be found on YouTube in a French-dubbed copy of the movie. HOWEVER, all of the violence is intact. Nice to know even censors prioritize. The title of the DVD cover reads Bruce Li in New Guinea but I prefer the title I knew as 14YO Movie Guy 24/7. Either way, it’s great! Demented but great!
