End of Days (1999) Universal/Horror-Action RT: 123 minutes Rated R (intense violence and gore, a strong sex scene, nudity, language, alcohol abuse, Satanism) Director: Peter Hyams Screenplay: Andrew W. Marlowe Music: John Debney Cinematography: Peter Hyams Release date: November 24, 1999 (US) Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne, Robin Tunney, Kevin Pollak, CCH Pounder, Derrick O’Connor, Miriam Margolyes, Udo Kier, Victor Varnado, Mark Margolis, Rod Steiger. Box Office: $66.8M (US)/$212M (World)
Rating: ***
End of Days, a blend of Schwarzenegger action and Satanic horror, is pure hokum. If I had to break it down, I’d say it’s Commando meets Rosemary’s Baby by way of The Exorcist with a dash of The Omen thrown in for good measure. It’s as silly as Satan-themed occult thrillers come. Any movie that includes a Vatican hit squad definitely isn’t playing with a full deck. It’s positively loopy! That’s why it’s so much fun.
Directed by Peter Hyams (Running Scared), End of Days opens at the Vatican circa 1979 where a priest witnesses a celestial phenomenon called “The Eye of God”. It’s a sign that heralds the birth of the mother of the Antichrist somewhere in the world. The Pope (Margolis, Scarface) tasks the priest, Father Thomas Aquinas (O’Connor, Lethal Weapon 2), to go forth, find the girl and protect her. The scene switches to New York where a newborn baby girl named Christine York bears the mark of the chosen one. The nurse rushes her into another room where Satanists perform a rite that involves anointing the infant with rattlesnake blood.
Before I go on, perhaps a few words of explanation are necessary. It’s like this. In twenty years time, Satan will manifest himself in human form and attempt to impregnate the girl. Conception must take place between 11pm and midnight on New Year’s Eve, the final hour before the new millennium. The child formed by their union, aka the Antichrist, will usher in the end of days.
The story jumps ahead 20 years to the final days before Y2K. Christine (Tunney, The Craft) is a troubled young woman who has no idea of the role she’s to play in bringing about the end times. She doesn’t know her guardian (Margolyes, The Age of Innocence) and psychiatrist (Kier, Blade) are Satanists assigned to watch over her- i.e. keep her in the dark- until the arrival of their unholy master. He will come in the form of an unnamed investment banker (Byrne, The Usual Suspects) whose body he takes over in a restaurant bathroom. At the same time, she’s being hunted by a kill squad from the Vatican whose members insist she must be killed in order to prevent the birth of the Antichrist.
Her protector comes in the form of Jericho Cane (Schwarzenegger), a private security guard still grieving for his wife and daughter who were murdered in their apartment by thugs. A depressed alcoholic on the verge of suicide, he blames God for what happened to his family. He and his partner Bobby Chicago (Pollak, The Usual Suspects) are assigned to protect the possessed banker. Of course, somebody makes an attempt on his life. It turns out to be Father Aquinas driven mad after nearly 20 years of waiting for Satan to make his move. After a wild pursuit that involves Jericho dangling from a helicopter at one point, the priest says a few words about the supernatural events to come before being shot and arrested by police. What he says isn’t nearly as strange as him having no tongue. Naturally, this compels Jericho and Chicago to start their own investigation much to the annoyance of lead detective Marge (Pounder, Demon Knight). They’re led to Christine by the words “Christ in New York” carved on the priest’s body. They find this clue after the priest is crucified to the ceiling of his hospital room by Satan’s vessel. Jericho gets to Christine’s home just in time to save her from the Vatican hit squad. Now it’s up to him to keep her out of Satan’s grip until the new millennium begins.
Admittedly, religious-themed horror and big action scenes sounds like a weird combination and it is. End of Days is silly and bizarre in equal parts. Rod Steiger (The Specialist), delivering another trademark hammy performance, plays a priest who heads a team of cyber-exorcists. That’s what I call them anyway. They have a secret room with computers in the back of a church. They appear to be ridding a possessed old woman of an evil spirit. It’s little touches like this that makes End of Days so enjoyably loopy.
Schwarzenegger steps out of his action hero comfort zone to play a dark, troubled character given a chance at personal redemption after years of denying God. Given his image, he’s an unlikely choice to play such a character. Originally, the role of Jericho Cane was meant for Tom Cruise, but he opted to sign on for Magnolia instead. I’m guessing Hyams and writer Andrew W. Marlowe (Air Force One) reworked the script to include action scenes to appease fans of Ah-nuld. Thus we get scenes of Arnold hanging from a helicopter and commandeering a subway. We also get the obligatory scene of the big guy arming himself to the teeth in anticipation of doing battle with an army…. of Satan worshippers! In any event, Schwarzenegger doesn’t do too bad a job as Jericho Cane. BTW, if I may play Captain Obvious for a minute, check out the character’s initials. Think about it a moment. It’ll come to you if you know your literary metaphors.
I’ll grant that it’s weird to watch Schwarzenegger play it somewhat straight. By that, I mean he doesn’t get off a single “I’ll be back” in End of Days. It doesn’t necessarily hurt the movie, but it does put it off-balance. HOWEVER, we do get scenes so strange, they’re funny. I never thought I’d live to see Ah-nuld go mano-a-mano with Margolyes (58YO at the time). Her character is made uncommonly strong by her devotion to Satan. Byrne uses his natural charm to great effect. It makes his possessed-by-Satan character all the more evil and insidious. I like that he resists the temptation to tear up the scenery. He downplays it just enough. Tunney is also good as the intended partner of Satan. She looks suitably scared.
I would urge all potential viewers to resist the temptation to look too closely at the plot of End of Days lest you want to get tangled up in its numerous holes. Here’s a perfect example. The prophecy states that Satan and the girl must mate between 11pm and midnight on Dec. 31. When told of this, Jericho asks “Eastern Standard Time?” That’s a very good question. This timing was worked out several centuries ago by Gregorian monks. How could they possibly have known about different time zones on a continent that hadn’t yet been discovered in a city that didn’t yet exist? It’s a head-scratcher alright. There’s also some nonsense about the number 666 actually being 999 upside down. Just add a 1 and you get the date of Satan’s next visit to our world. Can I get a Keanu Reeves “WHOA!”? This is why it’s best not to overthink End of Days and just take it on its own goofy terms.
I will say that the effects in End of Days are decent. I wouldn’t say it’s especially scary. I might say it’s a little eerie. I’d definitely say it’s predictable. It’s one of those Satan-themed horror films where EVERYBODY around the hero is a member of a Satanic cult. Remember what I said earlier about the main character’s initials J.C.? That’s a great big tip-off concerning his ultimate fate. Nonetheless, I like End of Days. It’s a good bad movie. It’s so damn silly, you can’t help but smile and give it a pass.
