Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) Lionsgate/Horror RT: 92 minutes Rated R (language, strong grisly violence) Director: John Luessenhop Screenplay: Kirsten Elms Music: John Frizzel Cinematography: Anastas N. Michos Release date: January 4, 2013 (US) Cast: Alexandra Daddario, Dan Yeager, Tremaine “Trey Songz” Neverson, Scott Eastwood, Tania Raymonde, Shaun Sipos, Keram Malicki-Sanchez, James McDonald, Thom Barry, Paul Rae, Richard Riehle, Bill Moseley, Gunnar Hansen, Marilyn Burns, David Born, Sue Rock, John Dugan. Box Office: $34.3M (US)/$47.3M (World)
Rating: ***
Texas Chainsaw 3D has the distinction of being the first major release of 2013. I’m pleased as well as surprised to report it’s actually pretty good.
I attended a midnight show with a friend at a theater filled with enthusiastic horror fans. They ate it right up. There’s something about watching a gory horror flick with the right kind of audience. Of course, I mean the kind where people make loud remarks and shout helpful suggestions to the characters on the screen. Just because I was there in a somewhat professional capacity doesn’t mean I didn’t get into the spirit of things. I love this sort of thing. It’s the closest I will ever get to the whole grindhouse experience of the 70s and 80s.
In addition, I’m also happy to report that Texas Chainsaw 3D has NOTHING to do with the recent reboots of the franchise. It’s a direct sequel to the 1974 original and, in my opinion, it’s the best sequel of the franchise. Director John Luessenhop (Takers) doesn’t attempt to duplicate the claustrophobic tone of the first movie. What fun would that be? Instead, he seems to take his cue from the mad slasher movies of the 80s.
Texas Chainsaw 3D is a total splatter flick! It doesn’t have a complicated plot, the characters aren’t particularly intelligent, the acting is rather subpar and the dialogue is as silly as it comes. The movie does have a very generous amount of blood and gore. With the added benefit of 3D, the audience might feel tempted to check their popcorn just in case that isn’t extra butter-flavored topping coating their snack. In other words, the 3D is an asset rather than a liability.
The story picks up just moments after the sole survivor of the 1974 bloodbath flees the scene in the back of a pickup truck. The local lawman, Sheriff Hooper (Barry, Cold Case), shows up to take Jed Sawyer aka Leatherface (Yeager) into custody. His brother Drayton (Moseley, Chop-Top from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2) negotiates a peaceful surrender with the sheriff, but that falls apart once a huge lynch mob arrives on the scene to dole out justice Texas-style. Within minutes, they’ve shot everybody in the Sawyer house to death and set it on fire. The only survivor is an infant girl who gets adopted by a husband and wife involved in the attack.
Several years later (I’ll address this in a moment), Heather (Daddario, Percy Jackson & the Olympians) receives a letter informing her she’s the sole inheritor of her recently-deceased grandmother’s estate. She confronts her adoptive parents who warn her against going to Texas without explaining why. Naturally, she ignores their advice and heads off to the Lone Star state with her boyfriend Ryan (R & B singer Neverson) and friends Nikki (Raymonde, Blue Like Jazz) and Kenny (Sanchez, Punisher: War Zone). They’re joined en route by a polite hitchhiker named Daryl (Sipos, Final Destination 2). They arrive in the small town of Newt to discover Heather has inherited a large mansion and that’s not all. It seems that Leatherface is alive and well and has been secretly living in Grandma’s basement under lock and key all these years. It doesn’t take long for some nitwit to set him free, thus allowing him to resume his killing spree. Meanwhile, the leader of the lynch mob (Rae, True Grit) is now the town mayor and doesn’t like that somebody who can potentially reopen old wounds has shown up.
I really enjoyed Texas Chainsaw 3D even though it’s not what any rational person would consider fine cinema. In a season traditionally defined by Oscar bait films, it’s kind of cool to see a fun trashy horror flick like this. It reminded me of going to see Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3-D way back in the summer of ’82. I’ll never forget seeing that guy’s eyeball fly off the screen after Jason crushed his head.
There are a few money scenes in Texas Chainsaw 3D, but the one that stands out is when Leatherface throws his chainsaw at a local deputy at the Halloween carnival. This flick also has plenty of good bloody chainsaw action. This is the Texas Chainsaw movie that I’ve been waiting for! Given that we’re talking about a slasher flick here, it doesn’t really matter whether or not any of the principal actors can actually act. What does matter is that the two lead actresses are freaking HOT! Man, Nikki totally looks like a stripper. Fans of the series will be happy to see cameos from Marilyn Burns, John Dugan and Gunnar Hansen (the original Leatherface!).
Now back to something that I mentioned before; it’s something that bothered me a little bit about the movie. There’s a real number problem here. The events of the original movie took place in 1973 and this movie takes place in 2012. That’s 39 years. That would mean that Heather should be about 39 years old. Anybody can clearly see that her character can’t be any older than 25. What gives, people? Did the filmmakers really think that this would go unnoticed?
On a more positive note, I do like the subtle little hints about Heather’s true ancestry that get dropped in her initial scenes. She works as a butcher in a supermarket and makes art out of chicken bones. I guess that answers the whole “nature vs. nurture” debate, yes?
Texas Chainsaw 3D is a lot of great bloody fun! It’s right on par with the best of the 80s slasher flicks (My Bloody Valentine, The Burning, Friday the 13th Part 6). As bloody as it is, I can’t wait for the unrated DVD to hit stores in a few months. The horror genre is off to a great start this year!
