Fraternity Vacation (1985) New World/Comedy RT: 94 minutes Rated R (language, nudity, sexual material) Director: James Frawley Screenplay: Lindsay Harrison Music: Brad Fiedel Cinematography: Paul Ryan Release date: May 3, 1985 (Philadelphia, PA) Cast: Stephen Geoffreys, Sheree J. Wilson, Cameron Dye, Tim Robbins, Leigh McCloskey, Matt McCoy, Amanda Bearse, John Vernon, Nita Talbot, Barbara Crampton, Kathleen Kinmont, Max Wright, Julie Payne, Franklyn Ajaye, Charles Rocket, Britt Ekland, Denise Beaumont, Frances McCaffrey. Box Office: $3.3M (US)
Rating: ***
I’m conflicted about the teen sex comedy Fraternity Vacation. On the one hand, its central premise about two rival frats betting $1000 on who can score first with an attractive woman is sleazy. By today’s standards of behavior, their actions would be considered criminal and possibly prosecutable. On the other hand, it has a sweet story about a naïve, awkward nerd named Wendell Tvedt, a self-described “late bloomer” more interested in astronomy than girls. He’s played by Stephen Geoffreys (Evil Ed from Fright Night), an actor whose appearance and mannerisms bring to mind a young Jack Nicholson. His character is the nicest guy in Fraternity Vacation. He makes it watchable. If not for him, this movie would be fairly bleak.
For whatever reason, the opening scene of Fraternity Vacation is shot in black and white. Maybe it’s meant to draw a contrast between snowbound Iowa and sunny Palm Springs where the main action is set. In any event, it establishes that Theta Pi pledge Wendell is heading off to enjoy spring break with his frat brothers-to-be Joe (Dye, Body Rock) and Mother (yes, that Tim Robbins!). It’s not an ideal situation for them, but since Wendell’s parents are funding the entire trip and his cousin has a condo there, they’re willing to make the best of it. In addition, Wendell’s dorky dad (Wright, ALF) offers to have a hot tub installed in the frat house if they get his son laid.
With that, the three guys set out for sun and fun in Palm Springs. Why not Ft. Lauderdale? It depends. In the movie, it’s because of a storm. In reality, it’s cheaper to shoot a movie closer to Hollywood. Pick one or both, it doesn’t matter. Once there, Joe and Mother get Wendell a quick makeover (cue 80s movie montage!) while rival Theta Epsilon boys Chas Lawlor III (McCloskey, Just One of the Guys) and J.C. (McCoy, Police Academy 5 & 6) devise a nasty prank involving their girlfriends. Basically, they get them to behave like hookers.
The plan is to lure Joe and Mother to their room with the promise of sex. They make out for a bit. The girls take off their tops then ask to use the bathroom. While in there, they make sure the guys overhear them talking about having herpes. When they return, the guys don’t want to have sex anymore and try to get out of it with some dumb excuse. That’s when Chas and J.C. pop out and shout, “Welcome to Palm Springs, you a-holes!” Ha, ha, ha.
ANYWAY, Joe and Mother realize that Wendell’s high-powered telescope can be used to gaze at more than constellations. That’s how they first spot Ashley (Wilson, Dallas), a beautiful but aloof woman who seems sad about something. She also becomes the object of the aforementioned bet. In order to score, the guys come up with schemes to lure her into the sack. Joe pretends to heartbroken and suicidal over a recent break-up while Chas poses as a personal trainer and best-selling author. Basically, they treat this poor innocent girl like trash. There’s nothing funny about that.
Then there’s Wendell. He’s totally inexperienced. By that, I mean he’s a virgin. In fact, he’s never had a girlfriend. His pals try to teach him the finer points of picking up girls at a bar. What initially looks to be a disaster turns into a win when Wendell leaves with a cute girl named Nicole (his Fright Night co-star Bearse). It doesn’t matter how, but the guys come to believe Wendell scores with her even though he didn’t. He likes Nicole, but sadly it turns out that she’s a class-A whack job who loves to date guys that will piss off her overprotective father (Vernon, Animal House). BTW, Dad also happens to be the police chief and an A-1 prick. Poor Wendell, he doesn’t deserve this.
I realize that much of Fraternity Vacation is unsavory. What happens to Ashley during the course of the movie is known in legal terms as attempted rape. It happens not once, but twice. There’s no way this movie would get made today without a whole lot of blowback from PC warriors and feminists. As such, it’s important to place Fraternity Vacation in context. It came out in the age of Porky’s, a time when the prevailing attitude in Horny Teenager movies was “anything goes”. It was still sleazy, but there wasn’t an outcry over it. I don’t see the point in condemning a movie as colossally dumb as Fraternity Vacation. Why lend it dignity it doesn’t deserve?
Geoffreys is truly the heart of Fraternity Vacation. In the midst of all the sleaze, Wendell’s a sweet breath of fresh air. One of my favorite scenes has him practicing to ask Nicole to attend his Astronomy Club banquet. He decides not to include his chances at winning an award because it’ll make him seem too cocky. Alas, he’s also a nerd which means he has to be the butt of a few jokes like when he falls off a roof, lands on a neighbor’s balcony with his pants down and spends the night in jail. He ends up being driven home by two hookers he defended from “Chief Buttface”. Of course, Joe and Mother misinterpret the situation and think they’ve created a monster. Okay, that is funny.
What’s there to say about the other performances? Wilson is actually quite good as Ashley, the victim of a cruel bet who calls the guys out on their bad behavior and the lies they tell each other about what went down with her. Seeing her running off in tears afterwards is actually kind of heartbreaking. Might I also add that Wilson is gorgeous? Well, she is.
Although their characters aren’t exactly likable, the actors playing the frat boys are pretty good. I’ve liked Dye since he played Nicolas Cage’s buddy in Valley Girl. Who would have guessed Robbins would go on to win an Oscar (Best Supporting Actor, Mystic River)? McCloskey excels at playing arrogant characters. With a name like Chas Lawler III, the guy has to be a pretentious dick, right? McCoy shows promise with what little he’s given to do. Vernon played so many bad guys, he could do it on autopilot by the time he made Fraternity Vacation. A cool supporting cast also includes Charles Rocket (the guy fired from SNL in ’81 for blurting out the f-word on live TV), comedian Franklin Ajaye (Car Wash), sexy Britt Ekland (The Wicker Man) and Nita Talbot (Chained Heat).
It deserves mentioning that the girlfriends of Chas and J.C. are played by Kathleen Kinmont (Halloween 4) and Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator). At least I think they’re their girlfriends. They disappear for a large portion of the movie. It’s like they don’t even matter after they take part in that demeaning prank devised by their so-called boyfriends. If they both weren’t such airheads, I’d like to know what they thought of the bet.
I can’t believe I’m writing so much about a movie as inconsequential as Fraternity Vacation. I saw it a number of times in the 80s; it played on cable a lot. I also saw it twice at the movies, once on a double bill with Tomboy. It’s not what I would call a good movie but I still like it. Blame it on my fondness for New World Pictures. The soundtrack isn’t too bad. It has plenty of bare boobs. It ends on a nice note; I’ll definitely give it that.
It’s directed by James Frawley, of all people, who also gave us the quintessential childhood classic The Muppet Movie. How does one go from Kermit and Miss Piggy to T&A? That I don’t know. It’s as elusive a question as how two guys smart enough to get into college are stupid enough to believe that two girls they literally just met want to screw them. The thing is you don’t ask that kind of thing while watching Fraternity Vacation. It’s idiotic but fun if you can get past the scuzz factor.
