The Mean One (2022)    Atlas Film Distribution/Comedy-Horror    RT: 93 minutes    Rated No MPAA rating (strong bloody violence and gore, language)    Director: Steven LaMorte    Screenplay: Flip and Finn Kobler    Music: Yael Benamour    Cinematography: Christopher Sheffield    Release date: December 9, 2022 (US)    Cast: David Howard Thornton, Krystle Martin, Chase Mullins, John Bigham, Erik Baker, Flip Kobler, Amy Schumacher, Tina Van Berk, Saphina Chanadet, Victoria Ippolito, Jessie Holder Tourtellotte, Allyson Sereboff, Rachel Winfree, Whit Spurgeon, Robert DiTillio, Josh Arnold.    Box Office: $612,260 (US)

Rating: ** ½

 When Theodor Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, took pen in hand to write How the Grinch Stole Christmas, I bet he never imagined somebody would come along and reimagine it as a horror movie. Well, somebody did and had he not been cremated, Seuss would still be spinning in his grave over The Mean One.

 To be clear, it’s an “unauthorized” parody of the classic children’s tale that has enthralled generations of youngsters. What exactly does this mean? It means director Steven LaMorte did NOT have permission from the author’s estate to adapt his book. As such, he can’t use any of the original prose or language. He can’t even use the word “Grinch” which is never once uttered hence the title The Mean One.

 HOWEVER, he can allude to the source. So it is that the action of The Mean One centers on a girl named Cindy You-Know-Who (Martin) who returns to her hometown of Newville for the holidays. It’s kind of a big deal for her. Twenty years earlier, she witnessed her mother’s death at the hands of the not-Grinch on Christmas Eve. Nobody believed her story about an ugly green monster in a Santa suit, labeling her as crazy. She returns to the scene of the crime, accompanied by her dad Lou (co-writer Flip Kobler), on the advice of her therapist. She needs closure if she wants to finally move on. Sure, like that’s going to happen.

 Cindy isn’t even back in town for a day when “The Mean One” (Thornton, aka Art the Clown from the Terrifier movies) shows up and kills Dad. Once again, nobody believes her story. They think she’s still crazy. The local sheriff (Baker) and town mayor (Schumacher) would rather just sweep it under the rug and pretend everything’s okay. But it’s not. The people of Newville stopped celebrating Christmas right after the incident with Cindy’s mom. Since then, anybody who so much as hums a carol or pulls out a strand of tinsel meets a violent end. So yes, something is up and nobody wants to talk about it.

 Cindy, wanting to face her demon head-on, takes it on herself to put an end to MO’s reign of terror. She’s helped by Burke Goldman (Mullins), the deputy who has a thing for her, and the town drunk Doc (Bigham) whose wife was killed by MO several years before. Together, they work to ensure evil dies tonight- i.e. Christmas Eve.

 I like the idea behind The Mean One, but the execution leaves something to be desired. It has a high body count (at least 20) and some neat kills (the bar massacre is pretty cool), but the gore is CGI which I find lazy. It might be easier and cheaper to do it that way, but it doesn’t look right. When I see a horror flick, I want practical effects and stage blood in copious amounts. Most of all, I want it to look real. This is what’s so great about 80s slasher movies.

 For the most part, the acting is okay. Most of the cast members haven’t starred in any big movies, mostly short films. The exception is Thornton whose Art the Clown has made him a new horror icon (the Christmas-themed Terrifier 3 is due out next year). He’s good as the not-Grinch; he looks like an evil version of Jim Carrey’s Grinch (now THAT’S a terrifying Grinch movie!). Bigham is amusing as this film’s Crazy Ralph character Doc whose last name is Zeus. Doc…. Zeus….. get it? Martin makes for a passable heroine, training like Ronda Rousey and disguising her guns as candy canes for her big showdown with MO.

 While amateurish in parts, The Mean One is an amusingly warped Christmas movie on the level of such demented delights as Christmas Evil, Santa Claus vs. the Devil and Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman. It may not rate high in the character development department, but writers Flip and Finn Kobler deliver a few priceless lines like “Time to roast this beast!” and “Dahoo Dores, mother f***er!” Yep, this is NOT your parents’ or grandparents’ Grinch (excuse me, not the Grinch). Please don’t make the mistake of showing this to your kids, not unless you want to ruin the Grinch for them forever. I wouldn’t call The Mean One a classic, but it’s good for a few laughs when you’re in a twisted state of mind.