The Queen’s Corgi (2019) Lionsgate UK/Comedy-Adventure RT: 85 minutes Rated PG (thematic content involving sexually suggestive material, rude humor, violence, some language, a drug reference) Director: Ben Stassen and Vincent Kesteloot Screenplay: John R. Smith and Rob Sprackling Music: Ramin Djawadi Release date: July 5, 2019 (UK)/January 24, 2020 (US) Cast: Jack Whitehall, Julie Walters, Sheridan Smith, Ray Winstone, Matt Lucas, Tom Courtenay, Colin McFarlane, Iain McKee, Nina Wadia, Sarah Hadland, Debra Stephenson, Jon Culshaw. Box Office: $31.4M (World)
Rating: ** ½
Movie viewing literally went to the dogs this past weekend with the two canine-themed flicks I watched with my wife. First up was the abysmal Agent Toby Barks about a dog who’s also a secret government agent. It makes any silly live-action Disney movie from the 70s look like Fellini. That’s all the review you’ll get out of me on that one. I wasted enough time just watching it.
Next, we watched The Queen’s Corgi, a Belgian-made computer-animated comedy about Rex (Whitehall, Bad Education), one of the Corgis owned by Queen Elizabeth (Walters, Paddington). My first question is this; who is it for? It looks like a cute movie for kids, but the truth is some of it is wildly inappropriate for the little lads and lasses. A perfect example is when a comically exaggerated version of President Trump tells his wife’s female Corgi to “grab some puppy” in her pursuit of Rex. I think we all get the reference; it doesn’t make it right. First, it’s NEVER funny to joke about sexual assault. Second, it’s a kid’s movie. I get that the makers throw in jokes only adults will get to keep parents amused, but there’s a line that must never be crossed. This line crosses that line. Although it will likely go over the heads of little ones, it still has no place in a supposed family movie. That’s only the tip of the iceberg; there’s plenty of material in The Queen’s Corgi unsuitable for the single-digit demographic. I’ll get to it momentarily.
Rex, who gives new meaning to the term “spoiled dog” has been the Queen’s “Top Dog” since he was a puppy. In a move borrowed from Up, the whole opening sequence of Rex coming to live at Buckingham Palace is rendered without dialogue. We watch as he fills the Queen’s heart with joy while driving poor Prince Philip (Courtenay, The Dresser) nuts with his puppy antics- e.g. constantly stealing his Union Jack bedroom slippers. Then we get into the story which begins with Donald (impressionist Culshaw) and Melania (comedian Stephenson) visiting the Palace with their dog Mitzi (Hadland, Miranda). The Queen thinks Rex would be a suitable mate for the First Dog, but Rex isn’t having any of it. The ensuing chase around the Palace ends with Rex accidentally biting Trump in the crotch. If that doesn’t cause an international incident, I don’t know what will.
Thinking he’s fallen out of favor with his mistress forever, Rex runs away from home on the suggestion of his best friend Charlie (Lucas, Alice in Wonderland) only to be double-crossed and left for dead in a freezing stream. Always jealous of Rex’s high position, Charlie makes it look like Rex was killed by a fox so he can usurp the role of Top Dog. Meanwhile, Rex finds himself in a shelter where the other dogs are initially put off by his fancy mannerisms.
This is where The Queen’s Corgi takes a dark turn. In a very dated reference, there’s a secret fight club that nobody talks about. Dog fighting, how sweet! That won’t give kids too many nightmares. Why don’t they throw in a Michael Vick reference while they’re at it? The top fighter and HDIC (Head Dog in Charge) is a mean, vicious pit bull by the name of Tyson (Winstone, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull). Rex makes the top of his s*** list when he moves in on his girlfriend Wanda (Smith, Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps), an attractive Saluki who dances provocatively before the fights. When Tyson finds out, he challenges Rex to a fight he can’t possibly win. His best option is to escape and find his way back to Buckingham before Charlie is named the new Top Dog in a special ceremony.
Again I ask, this is a kid’s movie? Between the sex jokes and dog fighting, any parent who takes their children to see The Queen’s Corgi ought to have their head examined. That’s not all. There’s a gag involving a clearly gay man who comes to adopt a dog. Yes, the word “queen” comes up. There’s one about a former drug-sniffing dog’s cocaine addiction. Near the end, a couple of dogs nearly die in a fire deliberately set by Charlie. The Queen’s Corgi is one seriously screwed up kid’s movie. Maybe that’s why I like it. Aw hell, there’s no maybe about it.
I hate to say it, but I enjoyed almost every schizophrenic minute of The Queen’s Corgi, a movie that alternates between cutesy and crass. At the same time, it’s pointed in its depiction of our Commander-in-Chief as a boorish buffoon who takes selfies with royal guards and drinks Coca-Cola at tea time. I’m sure this will offend his supporters, but since The Queen’s Corgi seemingly aims to offend, what’s the big deal?
On a technical level, the animators do solid work. It’s colorful, vibrant and detailed. It’s better than I expected from a CA movie not made by Pixar, DreamWorks or Blue Sky. The dogs, the Corgis in particular, are suitably cute. There are funny moments throughout The Queen’s Corgi although most of my laughter was directed at the wrongness of the humor. In other words, I laughed for all the wrong reasons. This movie is so NOT right. I couldn’t help but like it. I’m going to recommend it as a weird curiosity, but you probably shouldn’t let the kids watch.
