Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)    Paramount/Comedy    RT: 84 minutes    Rated PG (language, nudity, crude and vulgar sexual humor, comic violence, drugs)    Director: Ken Finkleman    Screenplay: Ken Finkleman    Music: Elmer Bernstein    Cinematography: Joe Biroc    Release date: December 10, 1982 (US)    Cast: Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, William Shatner, Lloyd Bridges, Chad Everett, Peter Graves, Rip Torn, John Dehner, Chuck Connors, Richard Jaeckel, Stephen Stucker, Kent McCord, James A. Watson Jr., Wendy Phillips, Laurene Landon, Sonny Bono, Sandahl Bergman, Raymond Burr, John Vernon, James Noble, Jack Jones, Lee Bryant, John Hancock, Oliver Robins, Louis Giambalvo, David Paymer, Hugh Gillin, Pat Sajak, Art Fleming.    Box Office: $27.1M (US)

Rating: **

“I have the strangest feeling we’ve been through this exact same thing before.”

Although applicable to most if not all sequels, it’s a quote from Airplane II: The Sequel. Never has it been truer than with this lame sequel to the 1980 disaster movie spoof. It’s essentially the same movie except that it’s set in space instead of the sky. There is another, more conspicuous difference. Team ZAZ (David Zucker, Jim Abrahams and Jerry Zucker), the makers of the original Airplane!, is NOT involved. Their PR people sent a letter to that effect to critics a few weeks before it opened. Needless to say, it’s not a good sign of the shape of things to come.

 You can tell that Team ZAZ isn’t involved in any capacity with Airplane II: The Sequel by virtue of the fact that it isn’t nearly as funny as its predecessor. In an early example of green filmmaking, writer-director Ken Finkleman (Head Office) recycles characters, situations and gags from the original movie. Actually, it’s more like he plunders it. Whatever you choose to call it, it amounts to the same thing. He didn’t capture the same magic as Team ZAZ. Far too many of the gags land with a resounding thud that can be heard in the deepest regions of outer space.

 While still ostensibly a spoof of disaster movies, Airplane II: The Sequel also takes aim at the sci-fi genre with its story of a doomed shuttle voyage to the first lunar colony. Set in the near future, Mayflower One is set to make its maiden voyage to the moon despite the protests of some, namely Ted Striker (Hays, TV’s Angie), the hero pilot from the first movie who claims it’s defective after the test flight ends in disaster. In an attempt to silence him, airline officials have him confined to an asylum after blaming the crash on human error, his. Ted escapes and tries to warn ex-girlfriend Elaine (Hagerty, What About Bob?), now a computer officer engaged to arrogant crewmate Simon Kurtz (Everett, Medical Center), about the dangers awaiting the crew and passengers if they proceed as scheduled. Naturally, she doesn’t believe him.

 Despite still being haunted by memories of what happened over Macho Grande (“No, I don’t think I’ll ever get over Macho Grande.”) during the war, Ted purchases a ticket (from a scalper, no less) and boards the shuttle. Soon after blast-off, the shuttle’s sentient computer ROK goes haywire, kills the crew and sends the craft hurtling towards the sun. Guess who’s asked to step in and save the day once again? As if they didn’t already have enough problems, they’re informed that one of the passengers (Bono, late of Sonny & Cher) is carrying a bomb with which he intends to blow up the shuttle. In case you don’t know, this is a direct nod to Van Heflin’s character in the original Airport. I almost forgot, they also run out of coffee.

 Watching Airplane II: The Sequel is like eating warmed-up leftovers. The same meal isn’t as tasty the second time around. At best, it’s occasionally amusing. The saddest part is it opens promisingly with some inspired bits in the terminal. The x-ray screener as people pass through the metal detector only sees through women’s clothing. That’s a lot of naked boobs for a PG movie! The man at the information desk has a lot of information on everything. Some people have peculiar ideas regarding carry-on luggage. Other bits aren’t so funny like an obvious last-minute gag involving a certain unnamed extraterrestrial and a pay phone. There are plenty of other references and nods to sci-fi movies and shows like 2001: A Space Odyssey, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, Logan’s Run and, of course, Star Trek.

 As hard as Finkleman tries, and he does try hard, following the same formula doesn’t produce the same results as his worthy predecessors. All of the jokes in Airplane II: The Sequel can be seen coming from light years away. The stupid gags are just that, stupid. The groaners are more likely to produce actual groans this time around. Worst of all, he completely flubs the idea of filling the supporting cast with actors not known for their comedic skills. Instead of having them play it straight, he has them doing and saying dumb stuff. That’s a large part of why the first movie works and this one doesn’t. That being said, let’s take a look at who’s on board this time.

 Stephen Stucker returns as nutty air traffic controller Johnny, the air-traffic controller, still gay and still funny. He’s one of the few bright spots in Airplane II: The Sequel. Lloyd Bridges (Sea Hunt) returns as tower supervisor Steven McCroskey, called out of retirement to help deal with the crisis. Chuck Connors (The Rifleman) appears as “The Sarge”, the head of the ground crew who knows the Mayflower isn’t ready to fly. Rip Torn (The Beastmaster) and John Dehner (The Day of the Dolphin) play the airline officials determined to keep things on schedule at the risk of everybody’s safety. John Vernon (Animal House) steps in for Leslie Nielsen as Ted’s deadpan psychiatrist at the Ronald Reagan Hospital for the Mentally Ill. Peter Graves (Mission: Impossible) returns as perverted Captain Oveur asking yet another young boy (Robins, Poltergeist) uncomfortable questions. Joining him in the cockpit are Kent McCord (Adam-12) and James A. Watson (Quincy M.E.). I’ve saved the best for last. William Shatner (Star Trek) brings his talent for hammy overacting to the party as lunar tower commander Buck Murdock. He flew with Ted during the war and holds him personally responsible for what happened. It’s too bad he doesn’t show up until the final ten minutes.

 Although unnecessary, I stop short of calling Airplane II: The Sequel completely worthless. Without the magic touch of Team ZAZ, it doesn’t amount to much more than a sporadically amusing send-up from an untried filmmaker best known for writing the screenplay for Grease 2. At only 84 minutes, it’s short yet feels like it drags. That’s what tends to happen when a comedy strains for laughs as much as Airplane II: The Sequel does. It’s easily one of the most-half assed comedies I’ve ever seen. However, I did get a chuckle out of the post-credit scene announcing that Airplane III is coming soon. It’s followed by a punchline that almost makes it all worthwhile, emphasis on almost. I’ll close by saying that you’ll get more laughs out of a 100th viewing of the first Airplane! than one viewing of this desperate, redundant, poorly-made, needless sequel.

 

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