The Corpse Grinders (1971) Geneni Film Distributors/Horror RT: 73 minutes Rated R (strong violence) Director: Ted V. Mikels Screenplay: Arch Hall and Joseph Cranston Music: Ted V. Mikels (editor) Cinematography: Bill Anneman Release date: December 27, 1971 (US) Cast: Sean Kenney, Monika Kelly, Sanford Mitchell, J. Byron Foster, Warren Ball, Ann Noble, Vince Barbi, Harry Lovejoy, Earl Burnam, Zena Foster, Ray Dannis, Drucilla Hoy, Charles “Foxy” Fox, Stephen Lester, William Kirschner, Curt Matson, George Bowden, Don Ellis, Mike Garrison, Andy Collings, Mary Ellen Burke, Sherri Vernon, Richard Gilden. Box Office: N/A
Rating: ***
The Corpse Grinders is a demented horror cheapie from Ted V. Mikels, a master of exploitation whose resume includes such prestigious titles as The Astro-Zombies, Blood Orgy of the She-Devils and The Doll Squad. You can always count on him to deliver low-budget fun even if the movie in question is bad. Fortunately, they don’t need to be any good. They just need a title that looks good on a 42nd St. marquee with two other features.
The Corpse Grinders is more or less what it sounds like. Corpses are stolen and ground into cat food. It’s the brainstorm of company owners Landau (Mitchell) and Maltby (Foster) who need to find a way to reduce overhead after their primary financial backer pulls out. They hire cemetery caretaker Caleb (Ball) to dig up fresh bodies for their twisted purpose. Lotus Cat Food is the top-selling brand on the market with its secret ingredient. There’s just one unfortunate side effect. It causes cats to viciously attack their owners now that they have a taste for human flesh. The scheme is uncovered by Dr. Howard Glass (Kenney) and his nurse/girlfriend Angie (Kelly) who open their own investigation after one of the victims is brought to his office.
I can say with absolute certainty Mikels wasn’t being serious when he made The Corpse Grinders. It’s more of a sick comedy than an outright horror movie. That’s my way of saying this thing is FREAKING INSANE. Despite its title, it’s not a gorefest. It’s nowhere near as gory as any given Saw movie. You have to put it in context though. In 1971, the mere sight of victims being put through a meat grinder was considered nauseating. It’s true all that’s shown is people going in one end and cat food coming out the other. Still, I wouldn’t be surprised if a few viewers barfed up their popcorn and Milk Duds.
The scenes of the feline attacks are hilarious because they’re so obviously fake. You can tell they were thrown at the actors by some off-camera person. The actors, in turn, pretend to fight off the killer kitties who are clearly trying to get away. Sound effects of cats meowing loudly are dubbed in as they gobble down their food or owners. LOL! It’s one of the cheesiest things I’ve ever seen, almost as cheesy as the one about the killer bunny rabbits.
In addition, The Corpse Grinders features several bizarre characters who couldn’t possibly exist in real life, at least not in the 20th century. Take Caleb and his mentally ill wife Cleo (Noble). They act and speak as if they’re living in 19th century England. They reside in poverty in a small cottage. Cleo carries around a plastic doll and treats it like a human baby. The deaf mute factory employee Tessie (Hoy) appears to be a refugee from the streets of Victorian-era London as well. It makes for a strange viewing experience when you compare them to the more contemporary characters in the same movie.
The acting in The Corpse Grinders is standard for this type of movie meaning it’s substandard at best. It’s like Mikels gave his actors a script and told them to do whatever feels right. Some overact shamelessly while others barely make an impression. The one commonality among the entire cast is none of them can act. It’s also bad from a technical standpoint. It looks cheap because it is cheap from the shoddy effects to the crummy cinematography. You can tell the makers didn’t put a lot of money into it. Perhaps Landau and Maltby should have thrown them into the corpse grinder too. In any event, none of this really matters since nobody’s paying attention to any of this.
The Corpse Grinders is a classic grindhouse movie. Mikels never intended for it to be anything more. The same goes for the producers. They just wanted to make a quick, low-budget horror movie in order to raise funds for more quick, low-budget horror movies. Mikels can’t be called a great filmmaker on par with Scorsese and Coppola, but why would anybody make that comparison? And why should they? They’re totally different kinds of filmmakers. They make films; he makes trash. I say that not as an insult, but as a statement of truth. When you see a movie title like The Corpse Grinders, you know it’s not going to be Oscar material.
I consider myself a well-rounded movie geek. I can enjoy most movies on their own terms, no matter how bad they might be and regardless of negative critical reception. Like any genre, some exploitation movies will be better than others. Some are great while some are horrible. The Corpse Grinders is so bad it’s almost good. It’s a sick, demented joke you have to laugh at. You’re certainly not going to be scared by it.
