{"id":1476,"date":"2024-08-01T02:24:02","date_gmt":"2024-08-01T02:24:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/?p=1476"},"modified":"2024-10-14T13:33:40","modified_gmt":"2024-10-14T17:33:40","slug":"the-barbarians","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/2024\/08\/01\/the-barbarians\/","title":{"rendered":"The Barbarians"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"The Barbarians<\/strong> (1987)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cannon\/Fantasy-Action-Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 87 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (bloody violence, nudity)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Ruggero Deodato\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: James R. Silke\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Pino Donaggio\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Gianlorenzo Battaglia\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: March 20, 1987 (US)\/April 24, 1987 (Italy)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Peter Paul and David Paul (The Barbarian Brothers), Richard Lynch, Michael Berryman, Eva La Rue, Virginia Bryant, Sheeba Alahani, Franco Pistoni, Raffaella Baracchi, George Eastman.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Box Office: $800,000 (US)<\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>: ***<\/p>\n

\u00a0I can\u2019t count the times I passed on The Barbarians<\/strong> at the video store. I\u2019d see the box on the shelf all the time, but always left it right where it was. I didn\u2019t want to waste my time on movies not good enough for theatrical release. I look back on this now with deep regret. How could I be so narrow-minded? Had I known all that it had to offer a B-movie junkie like me, I\u2019d have been all over it.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Let me count the ways The Barbarians<\/strong> is great. It\u2019s a cheap Italian-made flick and it\u2019s sword-and-sorcery, two things that go great together. It\u2019s a Cannon production from the dream duo of Golan-Globus. I still get excited when I see that famous studio logo. It\u2019s directed by the recently deceased Ruggero Deodato, the same guy who unleashed the controversial 1980 gorefest Cannibal Holocaust on the world. It stars twin bodybuilders Peter and David Paul, known professionally as The Barbarian Brothers, in the title roles. It also features two of my favorite character actors, Richard Lynch (Invasion USA) and Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes) in full camp mode. It\u2019s scored by Pino Donaggio. It\u2019s one of those totally, out of place electronic scores so popular in the 80s. While Donaggio worked on more prominent films, including several by Brian De Palma, it seems most appropriate to spotlight his work on another Cannon production, the Lou Ferrigno starrer Hercules. With a pedigree like this, I can\u2019t believe I put off seeing it until now.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The plot of The Barbarians<\/strong> is the usual S&S nonsense about heroes and villains trying to get their hands on some magical object. In this case, it\u2019s a ruby that gives the holder great power or some such silliness. As the movie opens, it\u2019s in the possession of a tribe of travelling entertainers. They\u2019re a peaceful bunch of clowns, jugglers and storytellers who live only to amuse and regale others. That is, until their caravan is attacked by marauders under the command of the evil tyrant Kadar (Lynch). He wants their ruby, but tribal leader Queen Canary (Bryant, Demons 2) makes sure it\u2019s on its way to a safe place by the time he arrives on the scene. What he gets instead is maimed when twin kiddies Kutchek and Gore bite two of his fingers off. This, of course, pisses Kadar off to no end. He takes the boys prisoner along with Canary who agrees to be his captive wife in exchange for sparing their young lives.<\/p>\n

\u00a0A true man of his word, Kadar doesn\u2019t kill Kutchek and Gore. Instead, he separates them and puts them to work in the quarry pits under the watchful eye of the Dirtmaster (Berryman), a cruel SOB who subjects them to all manner of brutality. When they\u2019re not performing hard labor, they\u2019re undergoing intensive gladiator training. Somehow, don\u2019t ask me how, they manage to forget all about each other. What happened to the strong psychic connection that supposedly exists between identical twins? It\u2019s a valid question, even in silly B-movies.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Eventually, the boys grow up to be super-strong adults with physiques that would make Conan jealous. All the training they received is about to be put to the test. Remember Kadar\u2019s promise not to kill them? Well, he only promised they wouldn\u2019t die by his hand or any of his subjects. He never said anything about making them kill each other. Gotta look out for those loopholes! With their faces concealed by clunky metal helmets, they engage in combat before a cheering crowd. It\u2019s supposed to be a fight to the death, but it doesn\u2019t work out that way. Did you really think it would?<\/p>\n

\u00a0It\u2019s fair to say Kutchek and Gore aren\u2019t the brightest bulbs in the pack. Let me put it this way. If you combined their IQs and multiplied the total by two, it still wouldn\u2019t exceed double digits. Once they see each other\u2019s faces, it takes them a minute or two to remember they\u2019re brothers. They celebrate this joyous family reunion by joining forces and escaping Kadar\u2019s fortress. The plan is to return and rescue Canary who\u2019s being kept in a cage in the harem room. First, they need to come up with an actual plan. They\u2019re going to need some help. They team up with Ismene (La Rue, CSI: Miami), a thief about to be hanged by the surviving members of their old tribe. She escapes the hangman\u2019s noose by promising to help the guys procure weapons.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Ismene knows a guy. This guy Jacko (Eastman, 1990: The Bronx Warriors) looks a lot like Hart Bochner\u2019s character from Die Hard. I kept waiting for him to call somebody \u201cbubby\u201d. He hangs out at a tavern frequented by rough types who drink and brawl while a scantily clad dancer writhes around on stage like Madonna in heat. He offers to provide Kutchek and Gore all the weapons they need if one of them can beat him at arm wrestling. I think we can all guess who wins that match. A big brawl ensues and our heroes leave empty-handed.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Kutchek and Gore, along with their female companion, return to the fortress where they sneak into the harem room in an attempt to rescue Canary. She tells them to leave her where she is as there\u2019s a more pressing matter. They have to travel to the \u201cForbidden Land\u201d and retrieve the ruby from its hiding place. Along the way, they\u2019ll need to stop by the \u201cTomb of the Ancient Soldier\u201d to collect magic weapons that will allow them to fight the fearsome dragon guarding the treasure. This is what they need to do in order to defeat Kadar. Now I\u2019m guessing time isn\u2019t a factor since the guys pause for a private orgy with the other harem girls before they begin their quest. BTW, they\u2019re not the only ones going after the coveted jewel. The evil sorceress China (Alahani) wants it too. It\u2019s a power play against her master Kadar. When he learns of her treachery, he goes after it too with Canary in tow.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Although not technically a comedy, The Barbarians<\/strong> has more than its fair share of laughs, both intentional and (mostly) unintentional. The Barbarian Brothers, who also appeared in D.C. Cab and The Flamingo Kid, make Schwarzenegger look like Olivier. You can hardly call what they do here acting. It\u2019s more like clowning around. As twin brothers, they have an easy sibling rapport. That they both possess incredible physical strength makes it even better. Sure, the boulders they lift, carry and move with ease are obviously fake. So is the dragon they do battle with in the Forbidden Land which, incidentally, is anything but a tourist attraction. It\u2019s right down there with Chernobyl on the list of places to visit before you die.<\/p>\n

\u00a0La Rue, in an early role, displays more spunk than talent as Ismene. For the most part, her role consists of little more than her character standing by with a smile while her two companions goof around and behave like children imitating the Three Stooges (minus one). Lynch hams it up mightily while Berryman goes all-out crazy. I love seeing these guys in movies! Alahani, in her sole acting credit, is suitably evil as the sorceress with a sadistic streak.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The sets and costumes in The Barbarians<\/strong> are really quite good considering the movie\u2019s low budget. The special effects, especially the creature FX, are cheap as they should be in an Italian-made Cannon film. The dragon has to be a prop from a theme park or something. The sword fighting is clumsy, but the two leads have a knack for belting people and throwing them around. It\u2019s fun to watch Peter and the late David in action. They certainly seem to be having fun themselves. Deodato, who also directed the overlooked journalism splatter flick Cut and Run, does a fine job putting it all together. The movie is basically one big goof, but it has spirit and sincerity thanks to him.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I\u2019m not going to try and convince you The Barbarians<\/strong> is a great film. What it is, my friends, is great fun. It\u2019s one of those \u201cso bad, it\u2019s good\u201d titles. There is so much to laugh and chuckle at. Me, I got a kick out of the waterfall conveniently located at the secret entrance to the Forbidden Land. It\u2019s like some higher power knew that someday a couple of heroes will need to wash off sticky green dragon guts as they leave the place. Things like this are why I take such pleasure in viewing B-movies, sometimes more than once to get the full effect. I\u2019m glad I finally sat down to watch The Barbarians<\/strong>. It\u2019s the perfect movie to watch in January.\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Barbarians (1987)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cannon\/Fantasy-Action-Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 87 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (bloody violence, nudity)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Ruggero Deodato\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: James R. Silke\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Pino Donaggio\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Gianlorenzo Battaglia\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: March 20, 1987 (US)\/April 24, 1987 (Italy)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Peter Paul and David Paul (The Barbarian Brothers), Richard Lynch, Michael Berryman, Eva La Rue, Virginia Bryant, Sheeba Alahani, Franco […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1787,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1476","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-guilty-pleasures","category-sci-fi-fantasy"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/The-Barbarians-PIC.jpg?fit=620%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1476","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1476"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1476\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2031,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1476\/revisions\/2031"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1476"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1476"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1476"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}