{"id":1509,"date":"2024-08-03T04:13:56","date_gmt":"2024-08-03T04:13:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/?p=1509"},"modified":"2024-10-14T11:28:07","modified_gmt":"2024-10-14T15:28:07","slug":"the-van","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/2024\/08\/03\/the-van\/","title":{"rendered":"The Van"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"The Van<\/strong> (1977)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Crown International\/Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 92 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (nudity, sex, language, drug use)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Sam Grossman\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Robert Rosenthal and Celia Susan Cotelo\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Michael Lloyd (supervisor)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematographer: Irvin Goodnoff\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: April 7, 1977 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Stuart Getz, Deborah White, Harry Moses, Marcie Barkin, Bill Adler, Stephen Oliver, Connie Lisa Marie, Danny DeVito, Jim Kester, Michael Gitomer.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Box Office: $19M (US)<\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>: ***<\/p>\n

\u00a0I\u2019ll give The Van<\/strong> credit for having more of a plot than its teensploitation predecessor The Pom Pom Girls. This one centers on Bobby (Getz, Record City), a teen who celebrates his high school graduation by buying a custom-made van, a yellow Dodge with \u201cStraight Arrow\u201d printed on the side. He\u2019s wanted one since he was a young boy. Show me a young male in the 70s who didn\u2019t want a van and I\u2019ll show you a future evangelical minister. LOL! This van is one sweet ride! It has all the amenities- a waterbed in the back (naturally), mirrored ceiling (naturally again), 8-track player (hey, it\u2019s the 70s!), CB radio (70s, remember?), mag wheels (in the event of a drag race), refrigerator (for all the beer) and even a toaster (uh, okay). It\u2019s everything a 70s teenage boy looking to get laid could want and more.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Bobby is a shy boy who stands by watching while his best pal Jack (Moses, Sweater Girls) gets all the action. He believes a van will change all that. It doesn\u2019t as we see in a montage of Bobby\u2019s failed attempts to score with girls in the back of his van. Could it be because Bobby also happens to be a big dork with a stupid grin plastered on his face 90% of the time? Oh, did I not mention that earlier? I guess I should have. ANYWAY, he spends a lot of time fantasizing about this hot blonde chick named Sally (Hoffman, Blazing Stewardesses) who\u2019s involved with a musclehead named Dugan (Oliver, Werewolves on Wheels), a big jerk who treats her like crap and loves to beat people up for no reason. He too drives a van. What does this tell you? RIGHT, they will race each other in their vans in the finale.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Bobby and Jack get involved with a couple of classmates, Tina (White, Fast-Walking) and Sue (Barkin, Chesty Anderson US Navy). Jack and Sue hit it off right away. Bobby and Tina do not. In fact, she can\u2019t stand him. She was the class valedictorian and he\u2019s the fool who pulled a prank that caused the stage to collapse at graduation. Nothing like a few broken bones to kick off adulthood, eh Bobby? Truth be told, Tina\u2019s totally uptight. It takes some doing on Bobby\u2019s part but she eventually starts to warm up to him. Then she gets cold again, reheats and refreezes before…. oh, never mind. The point is that they\u2019re destined to be together in the end. Isn\u2019t that the way it always works?<\/p>\n

\u00a0Bobby works at a car wash with a trio of idiots, led by Steve (Adler, The Pom Pom Girls), who give him a hard time. They send his car through the cycle with the top down. He retaliates by giving them beer laced with castor oil and locking the bathroom. The boss, played by a pre-Taxi Danny DeVito, runs a bookie operation out of the place. In a late plot development, Bobby uses his monthly van payment to bail him out of trouble with the Mob. Now in need of cash, he challenges Dugan to a race.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Why don\u2019t we just assume for the purpose of this review that the acting, writing, directing and level of humor are more or less the same in all of these Crown International teensploitation comedies? It\u2019ll save a lot of time. Besides, why speak of The Van<\/strong> in those terms? As a critic who happens to LOVE all kinds of movies, I like to use different voices in my reviews. My serious voice is reserved for films by Bergman, Fellini and Scorsese not silly stuff like The Van<\/strong> or any exploitation movie for that matter. For those, I like to assume the voice of teenage Movie Guy 24\/7, a guy who lives for watching the best and worst (and everything in between) trash cinema has to offer. That\u2019s who\u2019s talking now and that guy thinks The Van<\/strong> is pretty good.<\/p>\n

\u00a0In a slight deviation from form, we don\u2019t have to wait until the end of the movie for dorky Bobby to lose his virginity. It happens about midway through when he manages to sweet talk a big-bottomed girl into his van for some midday fun. He charms her with statements like \u201cThere ain\u2019t a woman around who doesn\u2019t love the sound of a zipper comin\u2019 down!\u201d LMBO! Only in the Crown universe would a line like this work.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Okay, here are a few more details about The Van<\/strong>. The guys and girls go to a van show where we get to see a lot of custom vans. This is SO 70s! Like I told you, vans were a big deal back then. The action takes place in Southern California meaning you should expect a few trips to the beach. It features a soundtrack filled with easy-going rock songs like \u201cChevy Van\u201d by Sammy Johns (never mind that Bobby owns a Dodge). It\u2019s played a few times. There\u2019s also a great cover of \u201cI Go to Pieces\u201d by Cotton, Lloyd & Christian. YES, there are boobs! There\u2019s ample nudity and sex, in fact.<\/p>\n

\u00a0HOWEVER, here\u2019s the thing about The Van<\/strong>. It\u2019s not mean-spirited or hateful towards women. Sure, Tina is a pain in the ass for most of the movie but she\u2019s never made the victim of cruel, humiliating pranks. Yes, Dugan is a creep but he\u2019s too much of a joke to be taken seriously. In the end, it\u2019s silly, harmless drive-in fodder for teen couples to make out by.\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Van (1977)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Crown International\/Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 92 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (nudity, sex, language, drug use)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Sam Grossman\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Robert Rosenthal and Celia Susan Cotelo\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Michael Lloyd (supervisor)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematographer: Irvin Goodnoff\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: April 7, 1977 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Stuart Getz, Deborah White, Harry Moses, Marcie Barkin, Bill Adler, Stephen Oliver, Connie Lisa Marie, Danny […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1814,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1509","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-b-movies","category-comedies"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/The-Van-PIC.jpg?fit=620%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1509","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1509"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1509\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2045,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1509\/revisions\/2045"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1814"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1509"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1509"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1509"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}