{"id":2210,"date":"2024-08-10T01:24:54","date_gmt":"2024-08-10T01:24:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/?p=2210"},"modified":"2024-10-19T21:55:29","modified_gmt":"2024-10-20T01:55:29","slug":"borderlands","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/2024\/08\/10\/borderlands\/","title":{"rendered":"Borderlands"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Borderlands<\/strong> (2024)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Lionsgate\/Sci-Fi-Action-Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 102 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated PG-13 (intense sequences of action and violence, language, some suggestive material)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Eli Roth\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Eli Roth and Joe Crombie\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Steve Jablonsky\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Cinematography: Rogier Stoffers\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: August 9, 2024 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Ariana Greenblatt, Edgar Ramirez, Florian Munteanu, Jamie Lee Curtis, Gina Gershon, Janina Gavankar, Haley Bennett, Olivier Richters, Bobby Lee.<\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>: *<\/p>\n

\u00a0It\u2019s been a while since we had an unmitigated cinematic disaster on the level of Howard the Duck or The Adventures of Pluto Nash among the selections at multiplexes across the country. Thanks to Eli Roth, that\u2019s no longer true. His latest, the sci-fi-action-comedy Borderlands<\/strong>, is exactly that. How bad is it? It\u2019s sure to give Madame Web some serious competition at this year\u2019s Razzies.<\/p>\n

\u00a0In what\u2019s becoming a trend with me, I had no idea Borderlands<\/strong> was an adaptation of a video game until a couple of days ago. Apparently, the fans are none too pleased with what Roth did to their favorite game. Most of the criticism is aimed at Kevin Hart (Ride Along 1 & 2) who they feel is the wrong choice to play mercenary soldier Roland. The manager on duty at my favorite cinema told me he\u2019s supposed to be a serious character. Wikipedia describes him as \u201ca stoic soldier\u201d. None of that describes the pint-sized loudmouth comedian. It\u2019s likely the producers cast him to put butts in the seats. I didn\u2019t know Hart was still considered hot property in Hollywood. Didn\u2019t his last few movies go straight to Netflix?<\/p>\n

\u00a0All signs pointed to Borderlands<\/strong> being a disaster starting with the long period between its completion and release. It was filmed mainly in 2021 with a few reshoots (overseen by Deadpool director Tim Miller) in \u201923. Roth left the project right before post to start work on Thanksgiving. He\u2019s not the only one to jump this sinking ship. Original screenwriter Craig Mazin (The Last of Us) had his name removed after extensive rewrites by Roth and two others. First-timer Joe Crombie is now the credited writer. Somebody had to take responsibility.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Bounty hunter Lilith (Blanchett, the Lord of the Rings trilogy) is hired by powerful corporate mogul Atlas (Ramirez, The Bourne Ultimatum) to go to planet Pandora (no, not the one in Avatar) and rescue his kidnapped daughter Tina (Greenblatt, Barbie) who was taken there by her abductors, Roland and \u201cPsycho\u201d accomplice Krieg (Munteanu, Creed II). Lilith, originally from Pandora, hasn\u2019t been there since she was a child. She isn\u2019t too happy about being back home either. She\u2019s only in it for the money.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Pandora\u2019s main attraction is something called \u201cThe Vault\u201d. Those who visit the hellhole planet are only there to seek it out. There\u2019s something valuable in that vault, something so powerful everybody wants to get their hands on. That\u2019s why Atlas wants his daughter brought back to him. She\u2019s the only one who can open it because she\u2019s the last surviving member of the ancient race that used to inhabit Pandora. Tina wants no part of whatever evil thing her father has planned. Lilith and her robot sidekick Claptrap (Black, School of Rock) reluctantly team up with Roland and Krieg to help Tina find the key to the Vault with Atlas\u2019 forces in hot pursuit.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I think it\u2019s time to draw a distinction between two different types of bad movies. First, there\u2019s the unwatchable kind like Caligula and Speed 2. They shouldn\u2019t be seen under any circumstances. They shouldn\u2019t have even been made. Then there\u2019s the second kind, the movies so unbelievably bad they\u2019re entertaining, becoming unintentional comedies that have audiences rolling in the aisles, laughing in good-natured derision. Borderlands<\/strong>, easily the biggest cinematic catastrophe since Cats, falls neatly in this category. It\u2019s a stinker alright, but I have a feeling it\u2019s going to be a bad movie classic like Howard and Pluto. It\u2019s such a mess; you can\u2019t help but enjoy yourself. It\u2019s like a twisted train wreck; you can\u2019t avert your eyes.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I\u2019m not a mind reader, but I could tell what Blanchett was thinking: \u201cI\u2019ve won two Oscars. How did I let myself get talked into this?\u201d Jamie Lee Curtis, who won her own Oscar for Everything Everywhere All at Once, was probably thinking the same thing. She plays Dr. Tannis, an expert on all things Vault who helps the team in their mission. She also raised Lilith after her mother\u2019s death. They both look suitably embarrassed as does Hart who looks like he\u2019s having no fun at all. To his credit and the relief of eardrums everywhere, he doesn\u2019t yell and scream his way through this one. Greenblatt is the only one who puts forth any effort, but what\u2019s the deal with the bunny ears?<\/p>\n

\u00a0The CGI effects in Borderlands<\/strong> are just awful. I know it\u2019s based on a video game, but does that mean it has to look like one too? Couldn\u2019t the makers have punched things up a bit for the big screen treatment? The action scenes aren\u2019t all that thrilling either. To the movie\u2019s further detriment, they\u2019re confusing and incoherent. Roth cuts them in a way that tells us he has no sense of geography or choreography. There\u2019s not a single memorable sequence in the entire film. The writer-director has a spotty record consisting of the good (Cabin Fever, Thanksgiving), the bad (The House with a Clock in Its Walls) and the confounding (the Death Wish remake). This one could go in either of the last two.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I predict Borderlands<\/strong> will be the summer\u2019s biggest flop. At a cost of $120M, there\u2019s no way in hell it\u2019s going to make its money back. It won\u2019t even make a nickel. It\u2019s only been out for a day as of this writing, but it\u2019s already secured its place in the Golden Turkey Hall of Shame. I also predict it\u2019s going to clean up at the Razzies. The question is will Roth show up to collect his booby prize in person?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Borderlands (2024)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Lionsgate\/Sci-Fi-Action-Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 102 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated PG-13 (intense sequences of action and violence, language, some suggestive material)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Eli Roth\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Eli Roth and Joe Crombie\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Steve Jablonsky\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Cinematography: Rogier Stoffers\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: August 9, 2024 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Ariana Greenblatt, Edgar Ramirez, Florian Munteanu, Jamie Lee Curtis, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2497,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2210","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sci-fi-fantasy"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Borderlands-PIC.png?fit=620%2C349&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2210","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2210"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2210\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3124,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2210\/revisions\/3124"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2497"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2210"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2210"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2210"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}