{"id":2232,"date":"2024-08-11T03:51:20","date_gmt":"2024-08-11T03:51:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/?p=2232"},"modified":"2024-10-14T12:41:40","modified_gmt":"2024-10-14T16:41:40","slug":"if-you-dont-stop-it-youll-go-blind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/2024\/08\/11\/if-you-dont-stop-it-youll-go-blind\/","title":{"rendered":"If You Don’t Stop It, You’ll Go Blind"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"If You Don’t Stop It, You’ll Go Blind <\/strong>(1975)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Topar Films\/Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 80 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (language, pervasive crude and vulgar sexual humor, full frontal nudity, strong sexual content)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Keefe Brasselle and I. Robert Levy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Mike Callie and Robert L. Levy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Bob Jung Cinematography: David Alexander and John Dirlam\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: February 1975 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Starring: Pat McCormick, Keefe Brasselle, George Spencer, Pat Wright, Alan Sinclair, Albert Lord, Uschi Digard, Jane Kellem, Ina Gould, Mel Davis, Leon Charles, Thelma Pelish, Tali Cochrane.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Box office: N\/A<\/p>\n

Rating:<\/strong>\u00a0***<\/p>\n

\u00a0The sex comedy If You Don’t Stop It, You’ll Go Blind<\/strong> doesn\u2019t belong in theaters; it should be shown on the walls of public restrooms at truck stops. I haven\u2019t seen this many degenerates gathered in one place since I used to take my ex-wife to this dive bar called The Lagoon. It\u2019s essentially a collection of dirty jokes acted out by amateur actors for the purpose of a sex awards show that honors recipients with a \u201cGolden Dildy\u201d. Directed by Keefe Brasselle and I. Robert Levy, it sinks as low as a movie can get. In fact, it\u2019s an entire series of lows. It\u2019s low-quality, low-rent, lowbrow and low-budget. It\u2019s poorly made even by the low, low standards of dirty movies aimed at perverts with the mentality of 13YO boys. It\u2019s a bad movie, VERY BAD. I definitely shouldn\u2019t find it as funny as I do.<\/p>\n

\u00a0As I already indicated, the premise that holds If You Don’t Stop It, You’ll Go Blind <\/strong>together is the World Sex Awards recognizing the top sexual achievements of the year. Categories include Best Lay, Best Solo Performance, Most Persistent Pansy and Best Set of Jugs. In order to determine the winners, the selection committee views clips of blackout sketches dealing with such topics as homosexuality, masturbation, impotence, bestiality, adultery, profane old ladies, female anatomy and leering perverts. Some of the gags work and some don\u2019t. The ceremony, hosted by the movie\u2019s most recognizable star Pat McCormick (Smokey and the Bandit 1, 2 and 3), is a formal affair not unlike the Academy Awards. It ends with Brasselle (The Eddie Cantor Story) singing a big number called \u201cDon\u2019t F*** Around with Love\u201d. It\u2019s a catchy little tune that should have viewers humming along.<\/p>\n

\u00a0In case you haven\u2019t already figured it out, the jokes in If You Don’t Stop It, You’ll Go Blind<\/strong> are the kind that teen boys whisper to each other in middle school bathrooms. I don\u2019t want to give away too many of them so I\u2019ll just describe a few of my favorites. There\u2019s one involving a naked lady stuck on a toilet, a strategically placed cowboy hat and a puzzled fireman that had me laughing out loud. At a seminar, a flaming gay man says \u201cSex is just a pain in the ass.\u201d Another guy, when asked if he talks to his wife during sex replies, \u201cYes, if I happen to be near a phone.\u201d You\u2019ll see quite a few classic dirty jokes as well. The staff of a brothel suffering hard times breaks into song (\u201cWe\u2019ve Got to Get Back on Our Backs\u201d). All of the humor is smutty and corny. Each punchline is followed by a brief musical cue segueing into the next gag. It\u2019s vaudeville reinvented by Penthouse magazine.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no lewd subject left untouched by If You Don’t Stop It, You’ll Go Blind<\/strong>. It goes places decent folk dare not tread. It has an abundance of nudity. All of the women end up with their clothes off at some point. There\u2019s nudity in scenes that don\u2019t call for it. It\u2019s the kind of movie 14YO boys sneak downstairs to watch in the middle of the night with the sound turned low. It earns its R rating and then some.<\/p>\n

\u00a0There\u2019s no point in commenting on the acting in If You Don’t Stop It, You’ll Go Blind<\/strong> because it doesn\u2019t even qualify as acting. Besides, it\u2019s plainly obvious that none of the performers are Lee Strasberg graduates or practitioners of the Stanislavski method. It doesn\u2019t really matter though because the people that show up to see If You Don’t Stop It, You’ll Go Blind<\/strong> don\u2019t care about such things. They\u2019re there for the cheap thrill of seeing naked people act out tired dirty jokes.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The sad part is that I find a lot of If You Don’t Stop It, You’ll Go Blind<\/strong> funny. It\u2019s foul, sleazy, cheap, crass, unsophisticated and tasteless. It is absolutely without virtue of any kind. It is morally corrupt and artistically inept. There\u2019s a good reason film critic Gene Siskel selected it as his \u201cDog of the Week\u201d on a 1980 episode of Sneak Previews. All this and still I laugh at it. Also, I LOVE the poster art. It just says it all, don\u2019t you think?<\/p>\n

TRIVIA TIDBIT: Although made in \u201974, If You Don’t Stop It, You’ll Go Blind<\/strong> took its time making the rounds. It didn\u2019t even hit Philadelphia-area movie houses until nearly a decade later (September \u201983).\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If You Don’t Stop It, You’ll Go Blind (1975)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Topar Films\/Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 80 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (language, pervasive crude and vulgar sexual humor, full frontal nudity, strong sexual content)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Keefe Brasselle and I. Robert Levy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Mike Callie and Robert L. Levy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Bob Jung Cinematography: David Alexander and John Dirlam\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: February […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3162,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2232","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-comedies","category-guilty-pleasures"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/If-You-Dont-Stop-It-Youl.jpg?fit=620%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2232","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2232"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2232\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3164,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2232\/revisions\/3164"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3162"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2232"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2232"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2232"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}