{"id":2472,"date":"2024-08-18T04:01:43","date_gmt":"2024-08-18T04:01:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/?p=2472"},"modified":"2024-10-14T15:06:05","modified_gmt":"2024-10-14T19:06:05","slug":"the-garbage-pail-kids-movie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/2024\/08\/18\/the-garbage-pail-kids-movie\/","title":{"rendered":"The Garbage Pail Kids Movie"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"The Garbage Pail Kids Movie <\/strong>(1987)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Atlantic\/Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 97 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated PG (violence, bullying, some mild language, suggestive scenes, rude and gross humor, bad behavior)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Rod Amateau\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Rod Amateau and Melinda Palmer\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Michael Lloyd\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Harvey Genkins\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: August 21, 1987 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Anthony Newly, Mackenzie Astin, Katie Barberi, Ron MacLachlan, J.P. Amateau, Marjory Graue, Phil Fondacaro, Debbie Lee Carrington, Kevin Thompson, Bobby Bell, Larry Green, Arturo Gil, Susan Rossitto.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Box Office: $1.5M (US)<\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>: NO STARS!!!<\/p>\n

\u00a0I\u2019ve been racking my brain trying to decide where to file The Garbage Pail Kids Movie<\/strong>, a truly rancid movie based on the then-popular trading cards made by Topps, the bubble gum card company that made Wacky Packages in the 70s. While it most definitely falls into the bad movie category, I\u2019m torn between filing it under \u201cWell, Somebody Thought It Was a Good Idea\u201d or \u201cWTF!!!\u201d I\u2019m even considering creating a whole new category for it, \u201cTHIS Is a Movie For Kids?\u201d It\u2019s so hard to decide. A movie as awful as The Garbage Pail Kids Movie<\/strong> defies classification, categorization, explanation or any kind of \u2013tion. It resides on its own plane of existence.<\/p>\n

\u00a0And now for a refresher course in 80s pop culture history. The Garbage Pail Kids were the subject of a series of trading cards popular with grade schoolers in the latter part of the decade. They were a take-off of the Cabbage Patch Kids dolls, one of the most in-demand toys of the time. Each sticker featured a character with a comic abnormality, gross deformity or disgusting habit. They had names like Acne Amy, Jack Splat, Jay Decay, Barfin\u2019 Barbara and Scabby Abby. Kids thought they were hilarious; parents and teachers did not. The cards were actually banned in a lot of schools. It was only a matter of time before somebody in Hollywood decided to build a movie around this gang of little gross-outs. It was inevitable The Garbage Pail Kids Movie<\/strong> would turn out badly. It\u2019s a little shocking it turned out worse than anybody could have imagined.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Directed by Rod Amateau (Drive-In), The Garbage Pail Kids Movie <\/strong>is an absolutely appalling movie. It is wildly inappropriate in every sense. I can\u2019t believe this one got past the ratings board with a PG. I can\u2019t believe it got past studio executives. It\u2019s my theory they didn\u2019t even bother watching it first. If they did, I\u2019m certain a few eyebrows would have been raised. It\u2019s not just unfunny and gross; it\u2019s also offensive in terms of content and intelligence. It\u2019s an insult to children, adults and every form of life in the infinite universe, intelligent or not. It expands on its purported message that it\u2019s okay to be different by further teaching its young viewers that it\u2019s okay to engage in rude, criminal and antisocial behavior if you\u2019re different. Is this the lesson we want our kids to learn? Any parent that allows their child to watch The Garbage Pail Kids Movie <\/strong>should be reported to Family Services at once.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The plot, if it matters, centers on a young boy named Dodger (Astin, Iron Will), a weakling frequently targeted by a gang of bullies who look to be in their early 20s. His only refuge is an antiques shop run by Captain Manzini (Newley, 1967\u2019s Doctor Dolittle), the only major adult character in this maelstrom of bad behavior and gross humor. The only rule of the shop is to NOT open the mysterious garbage can the Captain describes as a \u201cPandora\u2019s Box\u201d. Before you can say \u201cpestilence\u201d, the can is opened and the Garbage Pail Kids spill out in a river of green ooze. This is what the Captain was trying to avoid. Now he\u2019s faced with the task of finding the right magic spell to get them back into the can before they make themselves visible to \u201cnormies\u201d (normal people) and risk being taken to the \u201cState Home for the Ugly\u201d where they will be executed for being too ugly.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Who are the Garbage Pail Kids in The Garbage Pail Kids Movie<\/strong>? Let me introduce you. They are Greaser Greg, a leather-jacketed hood who frequently threatens others with a switchblade; Valerie Vomit, a girl who pukes on command; Ali Gator, a half-human\/half-alligator hybrid with a penchant for biting off people\u2019s toes; the extremely flatulent Windy Winston; Foul Phil, a whining baby with bad breath; Messy Tessie, a snot-covered girl with a constantly running nose and Nat Nerd, a bespectacled, acne-covered boy in a superhero outfit who wets his pants a lot. What a lovely bunch of kids! Actually, they\u2019re dwarf actors in animatronic costumes and they are creepy looking.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Let\u2019s get back to the plot, shall we? Dodger likes this girl named Tangerine (Barberi, The Bronx Zoo), an aspiring fashion designer and girlfriend to lead bully Juice (MacLachlan). With a name like Tangerine, you know she has to be fruit of the poisonous tree. In an attempt to impress her, Dodger has the gang make clothes for her to showcase at her fashion show. There is a HUGE problem with this aspect of The Garbage Pail Kids Movie<\/strong> and I\u2019m not talking about the plain-to-see fact that Tangerine is using Dodger and plans to screw him over. I\u2019m talking about the obvious age difference between them. Even though he says he\u2019s 14, the boy looks to be about 12 (his voice hasn\u2019t even changed yet). The girl is no girl; she has to be around 18 or 19. As such, the scenes where she flirts with him are skeevy.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Since I brought it up, let\u2019s talk more about this movie\u2019s skeeve factor, the Captain in particular. Come on, can\u2019t you see it? This guy is a total pedophile. Look at couple of early scenes. In the first, he has Dodger take off his clothes to be washed after the bullies drop him in a mud puddle. In the other, he lets Dodger take a bath in an old-fashioned tub in the middle of the store. He even helps the boy with his towel when he gets out. Am I the only one who felt uncomfortable during this scene? Then there\u2019s the matter of Dodger being harassed and beaten by bullies who look like they\u2019re in their 20s. They definitely don\u2019t look like teens. What we have is a group of young adults assaulting a boy that hasn\u2019t even reached puberty yet. It\u2019s horrific and pathetic not to mention highly illegal.<\/p>\n

\u00a0BTW, exactly where are Dodger\u2019s parents while all this is going on? Does he even have any? He\u2019s completely unsupervised. He runs around town at all hours. He hangs out with weird, unsavory sorts in a creepy shop run by a weird old guy. He never calls them to check in. He never even mentions them. Come to think of it, none of the other \u201ckids\u201d (human or otherwise) seem to have parents either. The Garbage Pail Kids Movie<\/strong> just keeps getting weirder and weirder and not in a good way.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0Is it even worthwhile to comment on the acting in The Garbage Pail Kids Movie<\/strong>? OH, YES IT IS! Newley, a respected actor, singer and songwriter best known for the stage musical Stop the World \u2013 I Want to Get Off, destroys a gigantic portion of his credibility with his hammy performance. Even worse, he doesn\u2019t look as embarrassed as he ought to be. Has he no shame? Clearly not. Astin tries his little heart out, but there\u2019s no overcoming terrible material like this. Like his character\u2019s tormentors in the movie, the wretched screenplay is too big an adversary to take on. Barberi simply can\u2019t act. The makers could have saved a little money by renting a department store mannequin instead.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Now let\u2019s talk about the titular characters. Simply put, they\u2019re rude, antisocial little monsters. Their medley of bodily sounds, odors and fluids is only the tip of the iceberg. They engage in non-innocent activities like stealing a Pepsi truck (can you say \u201cshameless product plug\u201d?), playing with pointed weapons, running amok at a fashion show and hanging out with bikers in a bar. Yet the movie wants kids to see them as role models of some sort. That\u2019s just irresponsible on the makers\u2019 part. Is it any wonder parents raised holy hell when it was released? Nationwide protests caused The Garbage Pail Kids Movie<\/strong> to be quickly pulled from theaters. Here\u2019s what I\u2019d like to know. How long did it take the few theaters that showed this stink bomb to get rid of the lingering stench? BTW, it never opened in Philadelphia, at least not to my knowledge.<\/p>\n

\u00a0There is absolutely NOTHING to recommend in The Garbage Pail Kids Movie<\/strong>. It\u2019s as wrong as wrong can be. Everything in it is equally terrible and repulsive. The effects are lousy, it\u2019s not funny at any time. The theme song \u201cYou Can Be a Garbage Pail Kid\u201d is the biggest non-hit I\u2019ve ever heard in a movie and I\u2019ve seen the musical version of Lost Horizon. It is the most inappropriate kid\u2019s movie EVER! It even beats out North. It not only condones bad behavior, it encourages it. On top of that, some of it is likely to scare the hell out of small children. The prison-like State Home for the Ugly, whose captives include Gandhi (\u201ctoo bald\u201d) and Santa Claus (\u201ctoo fat\u201d), ought to give them nightmares for weeks. WHAT THE FUTZ WERE THE MAKERS THINKING WITH THIS ONE?!<\/p>\n

\u00a0The only amusing thing connected to The Garbage Pail Kids Movie<\/strong> is when my then-girlfriend JC and I spotted a standee for it in the lobby of our local multiplex earlier that summer. She said, \u201cYou\u2019re on your own with this one.\u201d Looking back, I wouldn\u2019t have it any other way. Why subject anybody else to this miserable, hateful, low-quality, humorless, crass, tasteless, lower-than-low, grosser-than-gross experience? It belongs in a garbage pail.\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Atlantic\/Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 97 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated PG (violence, bullying, some mild language, suggestive scenes, rude and gross humor, bad behavior)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Rod Amateau\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Rod Amateau and Melinda Palmer\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Michael Lloyd\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Harvey Genkins\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: August 21, 1987 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Anthony Newly, Mackenzie Astin, Katie Barberi, Ron MacLachlan, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3346,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-this-sucks-so-bad"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/The-Garbage-Pail-Kids-Movie.jpg?fit=620%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2472","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2472"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2472\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3347,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2472\/revisions\/3347"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3346"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}