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Police Academy: Mission to Moscow<\/strong> (1994)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Warner Bros.\/Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 83 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated PG (language, comic violence)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Alan Metter\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Randolph Davis and Michele S. Chodos\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Robert Folk\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Ian Jones\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: August 26, 1994 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: George Gaynes, Michael Winslow, David Graf, Leslie Easterbrook, G.W. Bailey, Charlie Schlatter, Claire Forlani, Ron Perlman, Christopher Lee, Gregg Berger, Richard Israel, Vladimir Dolinskiy.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Box Office: $126,247 (US)<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Rating<\/strong>: NO STARS!!!<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0As if US-Russia relations weren\u2019t tenuous enough in the early 90s, Police Academy: Mission to Moscow<\/strong> could have potentially ended detente<\/em> altogether.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0I\u2019m guessing that producer Paul Maslansky figured five years was long enough for audiences to forget about the last movie. He hoped audiences would turn outto check out the seventh chapter of the saga that began in \u201984 with a hilarious R-rated comedy. Instead, it was barely released to theaters at the end of August \u201894. It didn\u2019t even open in Philadelphia; I had to wait until the video release to witness this cinematic felony.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0You know it\u2019s bad when Bubba Smith (Hightower) declines to reprise his role as does Marion Ramsey (Hooks) and Lance Kinsey (Proctor). So who accepts this assignment? It\u2019s a skeleton crew consisting of only Cmndt. Lassard (Gaynes), Jones (Winslow), Tackleberry (Graf), Callahan (Easterbrook) and Harris (Bailey). Joining them on their Mission to Moscow<\/strong> is acrophobic cadet Kyle Connors (Schlatter, 18 Again), a computer whiz that fudges his way into the assignment alongside the veteran cops. The fact that officials actually allowed the makers to film Mission to Moscow<\/strong> in Russia is nothing short of astonishing. What would Leon Trotsky have to say about that?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0This time, the cops are out to bust Russian gangster Konstantin Konali (Perlman, The Name of the Rose), the man behind an extremely successful and highly addictive video game that allows him access to any computerized security system in the world. He orders a young programmer (Israel) to create a sequel to \u201cThe Game\u201d (it features a bear wearing a shapka<\/em>). This new version will enable Konali to break into computers belonging to world powers. In other words, he\u2019s out for world domination. What he didn\u2019t count on was Russian Cmndt. Rakov (Hammer actor Lee) calling on Lassard and his team (such as it is) for assistance.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0As usual, Harris tries to take the lead and call all the shots only to emerge looking like a giant horse’s ass. It seems like he\u2019s perfectly capable of doing that without Proctor\u2019s help. How about that? Also looking to sabotage the Americans is Lt. Talinsky (Berger, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes) who still hasn\u2019t gotten on board with d\u00e9tente<\/em>. Since none of them speak Russian, they\u2019re assigned a translator, the comely Katrina (Forlani, Mallrats). She hasn\u2019t had a vacation in three years and doesn\u2019t want this assignment, but Connors is determined to keep her on because he likes her. And what is Lassard doing? Not much seeing as how he got lost shortly after their arrival. He ends up staying with an understandably confused Russian family in their small apartment. I\u2019m sorry, didn\u2019t we see a similar gag in European Vacation? It was funnier the first time.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0 Director Alan Metter (Back to School) turns Mission to Moscow<\/strong> into a traveler\u2019s guide of sorts as he latches onto any and all opportunities to show audiences the sights and highlights of Russia. We get to see Red Square, Gorky Park, the Bolshoi Ballet, the Chernievsky Group (Russian acrobats) and the State Duma. If I wanted a tour, I\u2019d have sprung for a vacation. However, this is the only thing about Mission to Moscow<\/strong> that\u2019s even remotely interesting. It is, without a single doubt, the worst entry in the series. Not only that, it\u2019s one of the worst comedies ever made. Even the director disowned it. It\u2019s one of the laziest movies I\u2019ve ever seen. The cast appears bored to the point of being comatose. Tackleberry doesn\u2019t even get to engage in his usual reckless, borderline psychopathic behavior. The worst thing that happens to Harris is that he gets a face full of rotten borscht while conducting a surveillance operation in the sewers.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0With Mission to Moscow<\/strong>, the viewer gets a face full of something else that\u2019s commonly found in sewers. I don\u2019t know how many theaters actually showed this movie, but the fact that it didn\u2019t break the $1 million mark implies that it was less than a handful. What I\u2019d really like to know is why an actor of Lee\u2019s stature would agree to appear in such a crappy movie. I could ask the same about Perlman.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0Mission to Moscow<\/strong> is unfunny to an extreme degree. It\u2019s excruciating to watch, even at a sparse 83 minutes. It doesn\u2019t even open with Toronto\u2019s nighttime skyline like the other six movies. The theme music is the same, but doesn\u2019t have the same effect it once did without the usual background scenery. I hate Mission to Moscow<\/strong> with every fiber of my being. I\u2019ve heard rumors of a reboot of the franchise and I really hope they\u2019re not true. As much of a fan I am of the first few movies, I think the Police Academy series is best left to rest. If City Under Siege seriously wounded it, Mission to Moscow<\/strong> delivers the killing blow. This movie is utterly worthless. Watching it is like visiting a place where you used to work. It\u2019s familiar, but you just don\u2019t belong there anymore. Sometimes it\u2019s best not to go home again. Mission to Moscow<\/strong> proves that beyond a shadow of a doubt.<\/p>\r\n Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Warner Bros.\/Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 83 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated PG (language, comic violence)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Alan Metter\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Randolph Davis and Michele S. Chodos\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Robert Folk\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Ian Jones\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: August 26, 1994 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: George Gaynes, Michael Winslow, David Graf, Leslie Easterbrook, G.W. Bailey, Charlie Schlatter, Claire Forlani, Ron Perlman, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":965,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-259","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-comedies","category-this-sucks-so-bad"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Police-Academy-Mission-to-M.jpg?fit=620%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=259"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":963,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/259\/revisions\/963"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/965"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Police-Academy-Mission-to-Moscow-POSTER.jpg?resize=620%2C913&ssl=1\")
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