{"id":2672,"date":"2024-08-22T15:21:58","date_gmt":"2024-08-22T15:21:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/?p=2672"},"modified":"2024-10-14T15:06:51","modified_gmt":"2024-10-14T19:06:51","slug":"hot-to-trot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/2024\/08\/22\/hot-to-trot\/","title":{"rendered":"Hot to Trot"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Hot to Trot<\/strong> (1988)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Warner Bros.\/Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 83 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated PG (language, bathroom humor, mild sexual content)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Michael Dinner\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Stephen Neigher, Hugo Gilbert and Charlie Peters\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Danny Elfman\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Victor J. Kemper\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: August 26, 1988 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Bobcat Goldthwait, Dabney Coleman, Virginia Madsen, John Candy (voice), Jim Metzler, Cindy Pickett, Tim Kazurinsky, Mary Gross, Gilbert Gottfried, Santos Morales, Barbara Whinnery, Liz Torres,\u00a0 Chino \u201cFats\u201d Williams, Angel Salazar, Burgess Meredith (voice).\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Box Office: $6.4M (US)<\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>: NO STARS!!!<\/p>\n

\u00a0The talking horse comedy Hot to Trot<\/strong> is the cinematic equivalent of what gets shoveled out of a horse stall every day. It makes any given episode of Mr. Ed look like Shakespeare by comparison. It\u2019s exactly the kind of movie that gets released at the end of August.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Hot to Trot <\/strong>may also be the first movie starring both a horse and a horse\u2019s ass. I\u2019m talking, of course, about Bobcat Goldthwait, the speech-impaired idiot who screams his way through three Police Academy movies. He\u2019s tolerable in those because he\u2019s part of an ensemble cast and not the lead actor. Whose bright idea was it to make him a leading man? Did somebody honestly think this guy could carry a whole movie on his own? Does that person still have a job in the film industry? I\u2019d also like to know what studio executives were thinking when they agreed to release Hot to Trot<\/strong> in its present form. It might have been funny on paper, but it stinks to high heaven on film.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I actually went to see this one at the cinema, something that says very little for my social life at the time. I sat there dumbfounded at how bad Hot to Trot<\/strong> was. I wasn\u2019t expecting something brilliant, I just wanted to laugh. I didn\u2019t because of one thing \u2026. IT\u2019S NOT FUNNY! It\u2019s not even stupid funny, it\u2019s just plain stupid. I couldn\u2019t believe I blew a whole afternoon and three bucks on this complete waste of time and film. This is one of those rare occasions when I considered seeking professional help for my obsession with seeing every single movie that opens in theaters.<\/p>\n

\u00a0It really doesn\u2019t matter what Hot to Trot<\/strong> is about, but it\u2019s still my duty to describe the plot, no matter how painful and pointless it seems. Fred Chaney (Goldthwait) inherits one half of a stock brokerage firm AND a talking, buck-toothed horse named Don (Candy, Stripes) from his mother. Despite the fact that he\u2019s a blithering idiot, Fred does quite well in his new position at the firm, much to the chagrin of his greedy, no-good stepfather Walter (Coleman, Nine to Five). He receives a hot stock tip from Don (yes, the horse can do that too) and acts on it, making him a very wealthy man overnight. Fred moves into a luxury apartment while Don moves back in with his family in the country. It isn\u2019t long before Don looks Fred up at his new place and asks to move in with him.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Meanwhile, Fred tries to hook up with his stepfather\u2019s secretary Allison (Madsen, Electric Dreams), not knowing that Walter has asked her to find out the source of his stock information. Long story short, Fred makes a bad investment and loses everything, mainly due to Walter\u2019s scheming. He, Allison and Don devise a plan to get revenge on him. They challenge him to a horse race that will win Fred ALL of the arrogant man\u2019s prized equines should Don be victorious. Guess who ends up as the jockey? Among the horses is a beautiful mare named Satin Doll owned by Walter\u2019s mistress Victoria (Pickett, Ferris Bueller\u2019s Day Off). As you probably have already guessed, Don develops quite a crush on Satin Doll. Do I really need to continue? Do you really need to know more? I didn\u2019t think so.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The nicest thing I can say about Hot to Trot<\/strong> is that it\u2019s short. It runs only 83 minutes, but it\u2019s a painful 83 minutes during which you will feel IQ points slipping away. What\u2019s even worse is that I willingly sat through it again this past week. When I review an older movie, I ALWAYS watch it again. I want it to be fresh in my mind; I can\u2019t always rely on memory or Wikipedia for these things. It\u2019s every bit as bad as I remember. It fails on every single level and wastes the time of the talented people involved. Coleman turns in what is easily the worst performance of his entire career. He plays one of the most embarrassing characters ever captured on film.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Goldthwait is one of the worst leading actors I have ever seen. He makes Ernest P. Worrell look like an intellectual. It\u2019s a wonder that Hot to Trot<\/strong> didn\u2019t completely kill his career as an actor. Bobcat can be funny, but only in small doses. He has fared better as a director with strange cult flicks like Shakes the Clown and God Bless America. As for Ms. Madsen, she\u2019s an attractive and talented lady, but none of the latter is on display in this terrible movie. Candy has made his share of bad movies, but at least he didn\u2019t have to show his face in Hot to Trot<\/strong>. I\u2019m sure it spared him some amount of embarrassment.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The level of humor in this movie is infantile at best. It\u2019s as appealing as a week-old pile of manure. I can\u2019t believe it\u2019s from the same guy, Michael Dinner, who gave us the delightful Catholic school comedy Heaven Help Us just three years earlier. The only ones who might get some measure of enjoyment from Hot to Trot<\/strong> are complete morons and not-too-bright kindergartners. But let me ask you, do we really want to perpetuate the cycle of stupidity that\u2019s rendered each subsequent generation dumber than the last? Allow me to make my own modest proposal. I suggest tracking down ALL existing copies and throwing them on the compost heap because turning them into fertilizer would be the most practical and charitable thing to do. Besides, isn\u2019t that what you\u2019re supposed to do with horse s***?\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hot to Trot (1988)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Warner Bros.\/Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 83 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated PG (language, bathroom humor, mild sexual content)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Michael Dinner\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Stephen Neigher, Hugo Gilbert and Charlie Peters\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Danny Elfman\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Victor J. Kemper\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: August 26, 1988 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Bobcat Goldthwait, Dabney Coleman, Virginia Madsen, John Candy (voice), Jim Metzler, Cindy Pickett, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3591,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2672","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-this-sucks-so-bad"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/Hot-to-Trot-PIC.jpg?fit=620%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2672","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2672"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2672\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3592,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2672\/revisions\/3592"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3591"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2672"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2672"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2672"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}