![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Ghosts-Cant-Do-It-PIC.jpg?resize=620%2C348&ssl=1\")
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Ghosts Can\u2019t Do It<\/strong>\u00a0 (1990)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Triumph Releasing\/Comedy-Fantasy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 93 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (language, brief violence, full frontal nudity, sexual content)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: John Derek\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: John Derek\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Junior Homrich and Randall Tico\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: John Derek\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: June 1, 1990 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Bo Derek, Anthony Quinn, Don Murray, Julie Newmar, Victoria Burgoyne, Leo Damian, Jane Damian, Donald Trump.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Box Office: N\/A<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Rating<\/strong>: NO STARS!!!<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0Ghosts Can\u2019t Do It<\/strong> is billed as a comedy-fantasy, but it ceases to be funny when one realizes that it\u2019s a glimpse inside the strange marriage of John and Bo Derek. At that point, it becomes creepy and disturbing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0But that\u2019s hardly the only thing wrong with Ghosts Can\u2019t Do It<\/strong>, the absolute worst of the Dereks\u2019 three cinematic collaborations; Tarzan the Ape Man and Bolero being the other two. To say it\u2019s bottom of the barrel would be a gross misstatement. For this one, the bottom has fallen out altogether giving way to a bottomless abyss. This one is so bad that it makes Bolero look like an artistic triumph. At least that one was funny albeit unintentionally so. This one is absolutely unwatchable. No, I take that back. Lovers of bad movies will love this one, but you know what they say about one man\u2019s treasure. \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0There\u2019s no need to speculate how Ghosts Can\u2019t Do It<\/strong> even got made and released. We\u2019re talking about John Derek here. When you\u2019re rich, powerful and crazy enough, competence doesn\u2019t really factor into the equation. I\u2019ll give the man credit in one area; he knows how to photograph his wife. Bo looks amazing as always, BUT she\u2019s as incompetent in front of the camera as he is behind it. As usual, she wears a blank expression (with or without clothes) which perfectly augments her flat line readings.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0Kate O\u2019Dare (Derek) is married to a man thirty years her senior that she refers to as \u201cGreat One\u201d. Tell me that\u2019s not art imitating life! The Great One aka Scott is played by two-time Academy Award winner Anthony Quinn (Zorba the Greek) and he must have been desperate to agree to appear in this dud. His character dies about 15 minutes into the story, but just because he\u2019s dead doesn\u2019t mean he\u2019s out of the woods. Oh no, he keeps appearing to his young widow in ghostly form.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0You see, Great One isn\u2019t all that invincible after all. He has heart problems which means he can\u2019t have sex with his hot young wife (hence the \u201cDo It\u201d part of the title). He\u2019s also too old to be a viable candidate for a heart transplant even though he\u2019s worth $2 billion. I guess money can\u2019t buy everything after all. In the movie\u2019s only hint of intelligence, Great One takes a page from Ernest Hemingway\u2019s bio and blows his brains out.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0Now that you\u2019re up to speed, let\u2019s get to the main plot. Great One isn\u2019t ready to leave this mortal coil yet (I wouldn\u2019t be either with a wife as hot as Bo!), so he makes a rather odd request. He wants his wife to find a suitable body for him to possess. All she needs to do is kill him first, then he\u2019ll jump right in. That way, he can \u201cdo it\u201d with his wife again. The body in question belongs to a gorgeous himbo named Fausto (Leo Damian, the Italian version of Christopher Atkins). Kate doesn\u2019t like the guy and spends the rest of the movie contemplating her late hubby\u2019s morbid request. And we spend the rest of the movie waiting for it to be over.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0In the midst of all this paranormal nonsense, there\u2019s some business about Great One\u2019s business. He owns a major corporation and some raiders want to break it up. So Kate high-tails it to Hong Kong with Winston (Murray, Peggy Sue Got Married), the best friend and business associate of Great One, for a meeting with the raiders. One of them is Donald Trump himself! What he\u2019s doing here is anybody\u2019s guess. It\u2019s not like he needs the paycheck. It turns out somebody wants her not to make some important meeting and sends a goon to force her to take a couple of pills. Whatever.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0I don\u2019t know what kind of budget John had, but the special effects are lousy. The ghost of the Great One NEVER appears in the same scene as Bo. When she talks to him, she directs her words off to the side. Quinn appears as though he\u2019s being reflected through a puddle of water. The picture shimmies a bit as he speaks to her. Of course, Bo is the only one that can see and hear her dead hubby. Sometimes, an \u201cAngel of Death\u201d (Newmar, Batman) shows up to try and talk some sense into Great One. She informs him that he has one foot in Hell and will spend Eternity there if he goes through with his plan. In her words, \u201cThere’s no way out of eternity. You’re stuck with it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0All of the dialogue in Ghosts Can\u2019t Do It<\/strong> is equally ludicrous. John wrote some real howlers, but the topper has to be when Bo tells Fausto \u201cMy dead husband wants to possess your body.\u201d For most guys, that would be a deal breaker. It\u2019s a good thing for Kate that this guy is a complete moron. He\u2019s also a rotten actor that I\u2019m certain studied the techniques of Atkins before stepping in front of the camera.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0About the only nice thing I can say about Ghosts Can\u2019t Do It<\/strong> is that Bo looks great naked. In one scene, she dances for a few bar patrons in a number obviously inspired by Jennifer Beals\u2019 \u201cwet dance\u201d from Flashdance. The only one not enjoying it is a pastor who angrily shuts off the music and demands that Bo repent for her sinful body movements. Damn spoilsport!<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0What else can I say about Ghosts Can\u2019t Do It<\/strong>? All of the acting is terrible. In fact, it\u2019s embarrassment to all except Bo who apparently has no shame. She has absolutely no qualms about displaying her utter lack of talent although to be fair, I think her Svengali of a husband had a lot to do with it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u00a0In terms of narrative, the movie is a mess. It\u2019s hard to say exactly what John was going for. Thankfully, this is the last picture he ever directed (he died in \u201998). Bo still shows up occasionally in movies (Tommy Boy, Malibu\u2019s Most Wanted) or on TV (the short-lived TV series Fashion House). The good thing is that anything she\u2019s done since her association with John or will do in the future is infinitely better than this stink bomb.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n I didn\u2019t see Ghosts Can\u2019t Do It<\/strong> at the movies. It played at a single theater in Philadelphia for one week and I decided not to make the effort. I rented it when it came out on video that fall and thought it was horrible. For the purposes of Movie Guy 24\/7, I decided to revisit it. It was difficult to get my hands on a copy (the DVD costs $50 on Amazon, no thanks!), but thankfully a friend had one she let me watch. I guess it\u2019s fair to say that it held up all these years because it\u2019s every bit as bad as I remember. In fact, it might even be worse. If you like bad movies and still haven\u2019t seen Ghosts Can\u2019t Do It<\/strong>, what are you waiting for? All others need not apply.<\/p>\r\n Ghosts Can\u2019t Do It\u00a0 (1990)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Triumph Releasing\/Comedy-Fantasy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 93 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (language, brief violence, full frontal nudity, sexual content)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: John Derek\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: John Derek\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Junior Homrich and Randall Tico\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: John Derek\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: June 1, 1990 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Bo Derek, Anthony Quinn, Don Murray, Julie Newmar, Victoria Burgoyne, Leo Damian, Jane […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1101,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-347","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-this-sucks-so-bad"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Ghosts-Cant-Do-It-PIC.jpg?fit=620%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/347","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=347"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/347\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1103,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/347\/revisions\/1103"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1101"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=347"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=347"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=347"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/Ghosts-Cant-Do-It-POSTER.jpg?resize=620%2C930&ssl=1\")
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