{"id":7732,"date":"2024-10-30T22:51:18","date_gmt":"2024-10-31T02:51:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/?p=7732"},"modified":"2024-10-30T22:51:18","modified_gmt":"2024-10-31T02:51:18","slug":"christmas-with-the-kranks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/2024\/10\/30\/christmas-with-the-kranks\/","title":{"rendered":"Christmas with the Kranks"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Christmas with the Kranks <\/strong>(2004)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Columbia\/Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 98 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated PG (language, slapstick violence, mildly suggestive material)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Joe Roth\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Chris Columbus\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: John Debney\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Don Burgess\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: November 24, 2004 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Dan Aykroyd, Julie Gonzalo, M. Emmett Walsh, Elizabeth Franz, Erik Per Sullivan, Cheech Marin, Jake Busey, Austin Pendleton, Tom Poston, Rene Lavin, Caroline Rhea, Felicity Huffman, Kevin Chamberlin, Vernee Watson-Johnson.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Box Office: $73.7M (US)\/$96.5M (World)<\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>: NO STARS!!!<\/p>\n

\u00a0There are movies I simply don\u2019t like, movies I really hate and then movies I so thoroughly despise I\u2019d like to destroy every copy in existence. Christmas with the Kranks<\/strong> easily falls under that last category. Crass and cynical, it exemplifies everything that\u2019s wrong with Christmas and Christmas-themed movies. I\u2019d have to say it\u2019s easily the absolute worst Christmas movie I\u2019ve ever seen or ever likely to see. I\u2019m saying this while acknowledging the existence of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Surely it can\u2019t be healthy to hate a movie as much as I loathe Christmas with the Kranks<\/strong>. It\u2019s supposedly a comedy, but I don\u2019t see anything funny about it. I gritted my teeth through the entire picture both times I watched it. That\u2019s right, I\u2019ve seen it twice, once when it first came out and again the other night. I threw myself under the figurative train so I could write an accurate review of this travesty of a Christmas movie. You can thank me later.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not enough to describe Christmas with the Kranks <\/strong>as bad. That would be tantamount to saying Charles Manson is a disturbed individual. It is despicable on every single level. There\u2019s not a single likable character in sight and anything that even approaches some form of sentimentality comes off as insincere and phony. It\u2019s more likely to cause heartburn than warm the heart at any point in the painful proceedings. It\u2019s a tremendous waste of time, money, effort and talent. It\u2019s not saying much for a so-called comedy when the viewer feels uncomfortable watching it. That\u2019s exactly how I felt as I witnessed the behavior of certain characters. I\u2019ll say more about that in a moment.<\/p>\n

\u00a0For starters, the main characters in Christmas with the Kranks<\/strong> are two of the most horrible people that I\u2019ve ever encountered in a holiday-themed movie. Despite their surname, Luther (Allen, the Santa Clause movies) and Nora Krank (Curtis, A Fish Called Wanda) are not cranky or curmudgeonly. He\u2019s an arrogant jerk; she\u2019s a real pain in the ass.\u00a0 They\u2019re both extremely selfish as well. At one point early on, she sends him to the market for a couple of non-essentials in a complete downpour. When he returns to the car without one of the items, she makes him go back for it. She doesn\u2019t even acknowledge that he\u2019s completely drenched. Yeah, that\u2019s real funny.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The market incident occurs right after they drop their daughter Blair (Gonzalo, A Cinderella Story) off at the airport. She\u2019s going to Peru with the Peace Corps and won\u2019t be home for Christmas. It will be the Kranks first Christmas alone in more than 20 years so Luther comes up with the idea of \u201cskipping Christmas\u201d and taking a Caribbean cruise instead. This means not recognizing the holiday at all. No gifts, cards, decorations, parties or taking part in any holiday traditions. Nora reluctantly agrees to go along with her hubby\u2019s edict after he allows her to make their annual charitable donations.<\/p>\n

\u00a0When the Kranks inform their friends and neighbors of their intention, their lives become a living nightmare. They all turn into Christmas Nazis with the charge being led by Vic (Aykroyd, The Blues Brothers), unofficial block captain and extreme proponent of Christmas. Here\u2019s where the disturbing behavior comes into play. He leads a campaign of harassment against the Kranks that includes the neighborhood children chanting \u201cFree Frosty!\u201d on their front lawn. That would be the giant snowman they usually put on their roof every year. The neighbors\u2019 behavior doesn\u2019t just border on criminal, it IS criminal. Apparently, none of them are familiar with the terms \u201ccriminal trespass\u201d and \u201charassment\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0This goes on until Christmas Eve when Blair calls to announce she will be home for Christmas after all, effectively killing Luther\u2019s plans for the holiday. The couple scrambles to try and have the house ready for their daughter who\u2019s expecting a traditional family Christmas celebration. It all leads to the big, heart-warming scene where all the neighbors come together to try and help the Kranks put together something festive for their daughter and her new fianc\u00e9e (Lavin). Then, Luther performs an act of kindness for an elderly neighbor (Walsh, Wildcats) and his ailing wife (Franz, The Secret of My Success). Excuse me while I barf.<\/p>\n

\u00a0There\u2019s absolutely nothing funny about Christmas with the Kranks<\/strong> except possibly for the scene where a group of carolers slip and fall on the ice in front of the Kranks\u2019 house due to Luther spraying down the lawn with a garden hose. Okay, that\u2019s a little bit funny, but you just know it could lead to all kinds of lawsuits against the arrogant bastard.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Still, Christmas with the Kranks <\/strong>is a total disaster. It\u2019s based on the 2001 best seller \u201cSkipping Christmas\u201d by John Grisham. I can only imagine his disgust as he watched this terrible adaptation unfold. I\u2019ve never read the book myself, but I can tell within its pages lies a humorous premise with a measure of potential. Director Joe Roth (Revenge of the Nerds II, America\u2019s Sweethearts) could have put together a decent farce about the commercialization of Christmas and the vilification of those who refuse to get sucked into that trap. Instead, he\u2019s made a very strong argument for skipping Christmas.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I don\u2019t mind Christmas movies that are in bad taste. I really like Bad Santa and The Ref. I can also accept a movie like National Lampoon\u2019s Christmas Vacation because its protagonist is a well-meaning idiot rather than a pompous jerk. These movies are legitimately funny. Christmas with the Kranks<\/strong> is an insult to the holiday and all of its wonderful traditions. I\u2019d sooner spend the holidays with the Grinch than anybody in this movie. Shame on you, Mr. Roth, shame on you! Shame also on Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis who should have known better. Shame on writer Chris Columbus, the same guy who gave us the delightful Home Alone. There\u2019s plenty of shame and blame to go around and more than enough people who deserve it.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Christmas with the Kranks<\/strong> made a decent amount of money at the box office, but I wonder how many people actually liked it. Seriously, does anybody really like this facacta <\/em>movie? It\u2019s enough to turn even jolly old St. Nick into a Scrooge. Feh, humbug!\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Christmas with the Kranks (2004)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Columbia\/Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 98 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated PG (language, slapstick violence, mildly suggestive material)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Joe Roth\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Chris Columbus\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: John Debney\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Don Burgess\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: November 24, 2004 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Dan Aykroyd, Julie Gonzalo, M. Emmett Walsh, Elizabeth Franz, Erik Per Sullivan, Cheech Marin, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":7805,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,12,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-comedies","category-holiday-movies","category-this-sucks-so-bad"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Christmas-with-the-Kranks-P.jpg?fit=620%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7732","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7732"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7732\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7807,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7732\/revisions\/7807"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7805"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7732"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7732"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7732"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}