{"id":7969,"date":"2024-11-02T20:11:04","date_gmt":"2024-11-03T00:11:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/?p=7969"},"modified":"2024-11-02T20:11:04","modified_gmt":"2024-11-03T00:11:04","slug":"delivery-boys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/2024\/11\/02\/delivery-boys\/","title":{"rendered":"Delivery Boys"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Delivery Boys<\/strong> (1985)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 New World\/Comedy-Musical\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 92 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (language, crude\/sexual humor, nudity)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Ken Handler\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Ken Handler\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Ken Handler\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Larry Revene\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: April 1985 (US) \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Cast: Josh Marcano, Tom Sierchio, Jim Soriero, Nelson Vasquez, Yayo Gonzalez, Sammy Luquis, Richie Pineiro, George Ovalle, Rodney Harvey, Deckard Fontanes, Jody Oliver, Mario Van Peebles, Naylon Mitchell, Ralph Cole Jr., Lisa Vidal, Kelly Nichols, Jerome Bynder, Boy, Kuno Sponholz, Frank Canzano, Anthony Mateo, Veronica Hart, Scott Baker, Samantha Fox, Yvonne Edelhardt, Galli Horacio, Jo-Ann Marshall, Naima Eriksen, Charlie \u201cRock\u201d Jimenez, A. Bobby Fields.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Box Office: N\/A<\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>: ***<\/p>\n

\u00a0Most movie geeks are familiar with Body Rock, the 1984 breakdance movie from New World Pictures, a low-budget studio that never passed up an opportunity to follow up a popular major movie with a cheap knock-off of their own, Breakin\u2019 and Beat Street in this case. HOWEVER, few know that New World threw their hat into the ring a second time with Delivery Boys<\/strong>, an even cheesier flick with an added ingredient, crude R-rated humor. It\u2019s a breakdance musical-comedy with a dirty mind courtesy of executive producer Chuck Vincent, a filmmaker who does both kinds of dirty movies, hardcore (Roommates) and softcore (Hollywood Hot Tubs).<\/p>\n

\u00a0I don\u2019t recall Delivery Boys<\/strong> getting any kind of theatrical release. I didn\u2019t even hear of it until I saw the box on the shelf while browsing through a video store where I wasn\u2019t a member. It wasn\u2019t available at the Video Den. I didn\u2019t get to watch it until it aired on cable in summer \u201986. I tuned in expecting a straight-up breakdance movie. That\u2019s NOT what I got. It was more like one of those naughty sexploitation comedies that regularly aired on late night Skinemax. I didn\u2019t make the Chuck Vincent connection at the time. If I had, I wouldn\u2019t have been taken so aback.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I wasn\u2019t surprised by the quality of the movie however. Delivery Boys<\/strong> is a bad movie. It\u2019s bad on so many levels. It\u2019s badly made, badly acted and badly directed. Although there\u2019s plenty of blame to go around, the criminal mastermind behind this cinematic felony is writer-director Ken Handler whose main claim to fame has nothing to do with film. His parents invented the Barbie line of dolls and toys. The Ken doll is named for him. Based on the evidence captured on grainy film, he should have taken over the family business instead of wasting his time on making movies. Delivery Boys<\/strong> makes Body Rock look like Singin\u2019 in the Rain. It\u2019s that level of badness that makes me a fan.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The plot centers on a NYC dance crew called \u201cDelivery Boys\u201d because their three best guys- Max (Marcano), Joey (Sierchio) and Conrad (Soriero)- work at a pizza joint as guess what. They\u2019re prepping for a big dance contest with a first prize of $10,000 courtesy of the sponsor, a woman\u2019s underwear company. They have a real shot at winning which worries rival dance crew leader Spider (Peebles, Exterminator 2) enough to intimidate the boys\u2019 boss Angelina (Oliver) into keeping them busy so they miss the contest. He backs up his threat by showing her the shrunken heads and ding-dongs of the crew that beat his Devil Dogs the year before.<\/p>\n

\u00a0So it is the trio of pizza delivery boys get stuck with some truly strange customers. Max is seduced and held hostage by a promiscuous girl (Nichols) with a vicious guard dog (Boy) outside her bedroom door. Conrad, a rich kid posing as a poor one, is subjected to weird medical experiments by two mad doctors at a hospital. Whatever they inject him with leaves him with a huge erection. Joey goes to an art gallery where the mad artist (Matteo) forces him to be a human statue after one of Spider\u2019s dumb goons causes him to break an expensive piece of work. Will the guys get to the contest on time? If you have to think about it for even a second, you\u2019ve obviously never seen ANY movie EVER.<\/p>\n

\u00a0If it\u2019s drama you seek, you\u2019d better look elsewhere. The one dramatic arc in Delivery Boys<\/strong> involves Max\u2019s older brother Izzie (Vasquez), a former crew member who quit for unexplained reasons and won\u2019t dance again. It\u2019s introduced only to be dropped early not to be picked up again until the finale when…. well, I think you can guess what happens here.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Delivery Boys<\/strong> is an odd duck for sure. It\u2019s ostensibly a breakdance picture, but the only dancing we see is in the opening titles sequence and the finale. The dancing itself is fine, but it\u2019s nothing spectacular. The real problem is none of these guys can act. The cast is primarily made up of unknowns that stayed unknown. There\u2019s no discernible talent on display here. Oliver is especially annoying as the guys\u2019 boss. That voice, YIKES! I recognized two of the actors, Mario Van Peebles and the late Rodney Harvey of the 1988 Cannon musical drama Salsa. If you\u2019re into porn, you\u2019ll spot adult film actresses Veronica Hart and Samantha Fox in brief, fully clothed cameos as art patrons.<\/p>\n

\u00a0If I had to single out the worst performance in Delivery Boys<\/strong>, it would be Mario. His character Spider, a lame-brained, grill-wearing, voodoo-practicing wannabe thug with a faux Jamaican accent, is a joke and a bad one at that. He\u2019s never without his two henchmen whose vocabulary appears to consist solely of uttering \u201cS***!\u201d in unison whenever their boss says something that requires a response. When viewed through the prism of the 21st<\/sup> century, this aspect of Delivery Boys<\/strong> could be seen as offensive, an argument supported by the two goons getting clobbered with watermelons in the finale.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Most of the screen time is devoted to the nutty situations the protagonists find themselves in thanks to their boss. This is where the comedy enters into the equation. I\u2019m almost ashamed to admit that I laughed at Delivery Boys<\/strong> more than I should have. I couldn\u2019t help it; it\u2019s just so silly and wrong. Max tries to escape his predicament by dressing in drag only to be waylaid by the girl\u2019s perverted dad (Bynder) who tries to seduce him\/her by way of a glory hole between his \u201cplayroom\u201d and the maid\u2019s room. Here\u2019s my question. Why doesn\u2019t Max just look for his own clothes instead of getting all dolled up? He goes all out. He even puts on earrings, heels and a long blonde wig! There aren\u2019t too many places the crazy girl could have hidden his clothes in the confines of her bedroom.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Meanwhile, Conrad can\u2019t get rid of his boner (which he hides with a pizza box) until he encounters a female passenger on a crowded, standing-room-only bus. Oh, the things that can happen when you stand too close to a stranger. Joey\u2019s mother shows up at the art exhibit and immediately recognizes her son\u2019s derriere. That\u2019s after he relieves himself in a few champagne glasses. Of course, they end up in the hands of a couple of snooty patrons.<\/p>\n

\u00a0One of the best things about Delivery Boys<\/strong> is the out-of-nowhere coda in which star Josh Marcano belts out the power ballad \u201cAin\u2019t No Place to Go But Higher\u201d while sitting around a blazing fire with his friends on a rooftop. It\u2019s a nice song, but it\u2019s just so random. The soundtrack, which has never been released as far as I know, is okay. It has a few good songs, but the generic hip-hop played during the dance scenes is a bummer.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Delivery Boys<\/strong> is shabby looking and clumsily edited. Scenes are assembled haphazardly. Gags stop for songs and songs stop for no reason at all. It positively reeks of amateurism. It\u2019s a low point even for New World. It\u2019s so bad, it\u2019s GREAT! What, too much? What about good? Yeah, that\u2019s more like it. For all its sheer awfulness, I enjoyed Delivery Boys<\/strong>, mainly as a relic of 80s-era urban life when teens danced on street corners to hip-hop music emanating from large ghetto blasters. It\u2019s also a relic of a time when bad low-budget movies got made with the reasonable expectation of theatrical release. Alas, it didn\u2019t happen for Delivery Boys<\/strong>, at least I don\u2019t think it did, but it still found its way into my bad movie-loving heart.\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Delivery Boys (1985)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 New World\/Comedy-Musical\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 92 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (language, crude\/sexual humor, nudity)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Ken Handler\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Ken Handler\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Ken Handler\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Larry Revene\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: April 1985 (US) \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Cast: Josh Marcano, Tom Sierchio, Jim Soriero, Nelson Vasquez, Yayo Gonzalez, Sammy Luquis, Richie Pineiro, George Ovalle, Rodney Harvey, Deckard Fontanes, Jody Oliver, Mario […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8037,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,18,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7969","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-b-movies","category-comedies","category-guilty-pleasures"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Delivery-Boys-PIC.jpg?fit=620%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7969","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7969"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7969\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8039,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7969\/revisions\/8039"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8037"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7969"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7969"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7969"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}