{"id":8226,"date":"2024-11-12T00:19:33","date_gmt":"2024-11-12T05:19:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/?p=8226"},"modified":"2024-11-12T00:19:33","modified_gmt":"2024-11-12T05:19:33","slug":"the-avengers-1998","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/2024\/11\/12\/the-avengers-1998\/","title":{"rendered":"The Avengers (1998)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"The Avengers <\/strong>(1998)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Warner Bros.\/Action-Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 89 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated PG-13 (brief strong language)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Jeremiah Chechik\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Alessandro Manzoni\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Joel McNeely\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Roger Pratt\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: August 14, 1998 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, Sean Connery, Jim Broadbent, Fiona Shaw, Eddie Izzard, Eileen Atkins, John Wood, Carmen Ejogo, Keeley Hawes, Patrick Macnee (voice), Shaun Ryder, Nicholas Woodeson.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Box Office: $23.3M (US)\/$54.7M (World)<\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>: NO STARS!!!<\/p>\n

\u00a0All the signs were right there save for a big flashing neon sign. It couldn\u2019t have been any clearer. The Avengers<\/strong>, an adaptation of the popular British spy show from the 60s, had \u201cBAD MOVIE!\u201d written all over it. It\u2019s directed by Jeremiah Chechik whose previous movie was the bad-beyond-bad American remake of Diabolique. Its release date was bumped from June to August during which the studio drastically cut down the running time from 115 to 89 minutes rendering the plot incomprehensible. Then they declined to screen it in advance for critics and audiences alike. It opened cold in mid-August which we all know is traditionally a dumping ground for terrible movies. No surprise, it\u2019s every bit as bad as the signs indicate. No, I take that back. It\u2019s worse.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The Avengers<\/strong> stars Ralph Fiennes (Quiz Show) and Uma Thurman (Pulp Fiction) in the roles made famous by Patrick Macnee (who cameos, sort of) and Diana Rigg (who wisely stays away), Ministry agents John Steed and Emma Peel. It seems that somebody has sabotaged something called the \u201cProspero Project\u201d (it controls the weather, I think) and the somebody appears to be Mrs. Peel. Steed is ordered to train Mrs. Peel before looking for the real culprit. Said culprit is Sir August de Wynter (Connery, The Untouchables), a madman who wants to control the world\u2019s weather. That\u2019s about all I can discern about the plot; the rest is a convoluted mess.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The Avengers<\/strong> is a career nadir for all involved and yes, I\u2019m taking Uma\u2019s boring turn as Poison Ivy in Batman & Robin into consideration. Connery, who sounds like he\u2019s talking with a mouth full of oatmeal, gives the most embarrassing performance of his career. It makes you believe he should have won an Oscar for Highlander II: The Quickening. He shamelessly mugs as Sir August, the leader of a secret organization that demands anonymity among its members. He achieves that by having them attend meetings dressed as giant, differently-colored teddy bears. Uh, okay. It makes about as much sense as everything else that goes down in this fustercluck of a movie.<\/p>\n

\u00a0There is absolute NO chemistry between Fiennes and Thurman. NONE, ZERO, ZILCH! Their individual performances are just as dreadful. Every single exchange feels labored; every line that comes out of their mouths sounds stilted. Fiennes phones it in while his American co-star\u2019s Brit accent comes and goes. The Avengers<\/strong> totally wastes the talents of respected actors Jim Broadbent (Iris) and Fiona Shaw (the Harry Potter movies) as Ministry directors \u201cMother\u201d and \u201cFather\u201d respectively. Let\u2019s just cut to the chase. None of the actors who appear (or, in Macnee\u2019s case, don\u2019t appear) in this mess emerge unscathed. The original John Steed doesn\u2019t show up briefly as an invisible agent who helps the new John Steed. At least he has the good sense not to show his face which gives him a one-up on his co-stars.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The Avengers<\/strong> reeks of post-production tampering with its unintelligible plot. There is a lot that goes unexplained. Take Mrs. Peel\u2019s evil doppelganger. What is she, a twin or a clone? The movie, in its truncated form, never bothers to explain. There are scenes when we\u2019re not even sure if we\u2019re looking at good Peel or bad Peel. It mishandles the heroes\u2019 discovery of the villain completely. One moment, they don\u2019t know it\u2019s Sir August. Then suddenly, they do. Where\u2019s the scene of realization? Of all the scenes to leave on the cutting room floor, why such a crucial one? Also, how does good Mrs. Peel know the secret password to gain admittance to Sir August\u2019s estate? Warner didn\u2019t just recut The Avengers<\/strong>, they gutted it.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Speaking of post-production tampering, did anybody else notice something off about its one use of the f-word? It happens in the climactic sequence when Mrs. Peel fights the speechless lackey played by Brit comedian Eddie Izzard. It\u2019s the only word he utters throughout the whole movie. ANYWAY, it doesn\u2019t sound quite right. That\u2019s because it was dubbed in after the fact in order to achieve a PG-13 rating. The studio felt audiences wouldn\u2019t show up for a PG spy actioner.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The Avengers<\/strong> isn\u2019t a movie; it\u2019s an act of vandalism. Watching it is akin to witnessing a crime. It\u2019s a misfire on a grand scale. It\u2019s easily the worst TV-to-film adaptation EVER! It\u2019s easily one of the worst films EVER! The makers thoroughly trash the original show with a plot that\u2019s as idiotic as it is confusing. It\u2019s also as boring as it is bewildering. It\u2019s filled to the fringes with dumb ideas like the swarm of large mechanical bees that chase our heroes in one scene. It turns into a loud, bombastic noisefest with terrible special effects in the finale. It sucks the life right out of the theater.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I\u2019ll give The Avengers <\/strong>credit in two areas: (1) it has some interesting production design, some being the key word and (2) I like the Grace Jones song \u201cStorm\u201d that plays over the end credits. Neither of these things makes it even remotely watchable, it still sucks. It\u2019s such a colossal turkey; it should have been distributed by Butterball. I can think of many movies that deserve to be disowned, but The Avengers<\/strong> holds a high position on the list. It\u2019s an insult to fans of the show and the intelligence of anybody that watches it. Hell, it\u2019s just insulting.\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Avengers (1998)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Warner Bros.\/Action-Comedy\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 89 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated PG-13 (brief strong language)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Jeremiah Chechik\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Alessandro Manzoni\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Joel McNeely\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Roger Pratt\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: August 14, 1998 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, Sean Connery, Jim Broadbent, Fiona Shaw, Eddie Izzard, Eileen Atkins, John Wood, Carmen Ejogo, Keeley Hawes, Patrick Macnee (voice), […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8419,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8226","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-action-adventure","category-this-sucks-so-bad"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/The-Avengers-1998-PIC.jpg?fit=620%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8226","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8226"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8226\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8421,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8226\/revisions\/8421"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8419"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8226"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8226"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8226"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}