{"id":8957,"date":"2024-11-27T13:00:23","date_gmt":"2024-11-27T18:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/?p=8957"},"modified":"2024-11-27T13:00:23","modified_gmt":"2024-11-27T18:00:23","slug":"blubberella","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/2024\/11\/27\/blubberella\/","title":{"rendered":"Blubberella"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Blubberella <\/strong>(2011)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Phase 4 Films\/Comedy-Action-Horror\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 86 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (crude and sexual content throughout, pervasive language, some violence)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Uwe Boll\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Uwe Boll\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Jessica de Rooij\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Mathias Neumann\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: April 28, 2011 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Lindsay Hollister, Brendan Fletcher, Michael Pare, William Belli, Annett Culp, Clint Howard, Steffen Mennekes, Arved Birnbaum, Safiya Kaygin, Nik Goldman, Boris Balta, Uwe Boll.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Box Office: N\/A<\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>: \u00bd *<\/p>\n

\u00a0When it comes to Uwe Boll movies, I always try to approach them with an open mind. The man makes bad movies, really BAD movies. He either does so on purpose or has no idea how incompetent a filmmaker he is. I haven\u2019t figured out which. I\u2019ve enjoyed some of his movies- e.g. Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, In the Name of the King, Postal and Rampage- in an ironic \u201cso bad, it\u2019s great\u201d way. Others are just plain bad. Sadly, Blubberella<\/strong> falls into the latter category. It\u2019s a dull, unfunny, incoherent mess and a waste of a great cheesy-cool premise.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The titular heroine (Hollister, Get Smart) is a plus-size \u201cdhampir\u201d (half human\/half vampire) Nazi fighter in WWII-era Germany. She\u2019s about 800 years old. She handles a pair of swords and a pair of salamis with equal ease. Her main functions in life are eating, hearing bad fat jokes and killing Nazis. One thing she can\u2019t do is find a mate. She can\u2019t understand why the guys she meets on a Jewish dating site keep standing her up despite her willingness to convert. Hey, I never she was too bright.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Things get murky in Blubberella<\/strong> once the plot kicks in. With Hitler\u2019s Third Reich Army blitzkrieging its way across Europe, Blubberella hooks up with a group of Resistance fighters, led by eventual love interest Nathaniel (Fletcher, Rampage) and flamboyantly gay Vadge (Belli, American Wedding). Their \u201cattempt\u201d to free a bunch of Jewish captives from a freight train somehow results in a Nazi Commandant (Pare, Streets of Fire) becoming a vampire. Even worse, Hitler himself (played by writer-director Boll) gets turned into a vampire.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Most of Blubberella<\/strong> revolves around the heroine and her team taking out vampire Nazis (or is it Nazi vampires?). A mad Nazi doctor played by Ron Howard\u2019s little brother Clint (House of the Dead) also factors into the story somehow. Full disclosure, I gave up trying to understand this utterly pointless movie and focused instead on listing all the ways it fails as entertainment. It could have been great fun had Boll bothered to write a coherent script, but here we are neck-deep in total cinematic BS.<\/p>\n

\u00a0If pressed, I\u2019d have to say Blubberella<\/strong> is at its worst when it tries to be funny. It never is. This is a BIG problem because it\u2019s technically a comedy. An unfunny comedy is the worst kind of bad movie. If done right-wrong, you can laugh at a failed drama or inept actioner. Bad comedies suck no matter how you look at it. They\u2019re painful to sit through. That perfectly sums up how I felt watching Blubberella<\/strong>. It\u2019s not even unintentionally funny. It\u2019s excruciatingly, jaw-droppingly, stupefyingly, all-caps BAD!<\/p>\n

\u00a0I don\u2019t mind that most of the gags in Blubberella<\/strong> are in incredibly poor taste. I expected it would be. It\u2019s a \u201ccomedy\u201d set during the Holocaust. It involves Nazis. The heroine is an obese woman who uses food as a substitute for sex. Early on, she kills a German soldier so she can steal his sandwich. There are many jokes at her expense. It contains offensive stereotypes of all kinds- e.g. Jews, Germans, gays and blacks. There are two scenes, one a terrible parody of the 2009 drama Precious, featuring white actors in blackface. One, played by Boll, does a lousy impression of Samuel L. Jackson with all the mf-bombs he drops. None of this bothers me. I was raised on Mel Brooks comedies like The Producers and Blazing Saddles. The problem is Boll tries too hard to amuse and offend to the point of overkill. The same goes for all the anachronisms. The characters use computers, cell phones and Segways. There are references to Pilates, Elvis and George W. Bush. We\u2019re informed via titles that the doctor\u2019s previous patients include Michael Jackson, Corey Haim and Lindsay Lohan. There are more anachronisms, many more. It gets old fast.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Fun fact, Blubberella<\/strong> was shot simultaneously with BloodRayne: The Third Reich. It utilizes the same cast, crew, sets and costumes. And you thought William \u201cOne-Shot\u201d Beaudine (Billy the Kid vs. Dracula) was cheap? Me, I don\u2019t mind cheap. Low-budget B-movies can be fun and often are albeit for the wrong reasons. There is NO fun to be had with Blubberella<\/strong>. It\u2019s bad on every level, especially when it comes to the confused narrative. It makes no sense. For example, the fact that the title character is part-vampire is all but forgotten after her intro. We never see her grow fangs, bite victims or suck blood. For that matter, we never see any of the converts display a single vampire trait either. What\u2019s the deal, Uwe? This is a colossal screw-up.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The only mildly engaging thing about Blubberella<\/strong> is lead actress Hollister. It\u2019s great to see a plus-size heroine kick ass. The one good scene shows her smothering a Nazi baddie with her large breasts. If only the rest of the movie followed suit. She appears to be talented even though precious little of it is on display here. You know what? Why don\u2019t I just cut through all the verbal yang-yang and state categorically that ALL of the \u201cacting\u201d in Blubberella<\/strong> is terrible. The \u201cperformances\u201d are actually embarrassing. I\u2019m especially disappointed in Pare; he\u2019s capable of far better. As for Clint Howard, he ought to stick with appearing in big brother Ronny\u2019s movies.<\/p>\n

\u00a0After reading about Blubberella<\/strong> in Entertainment Weekly (the March 25, 2011 issue), I was psyched to see it. It sounded like fun. I wanted to enjoy it, but it\u2019s impossible. It\u2019s not even remotely watchable. You know a movie has failed when the outtakes at the end aren\u2019t entertaining. The ultimately tragedy of Blubberella<\/strong> is that it could have worked if Uwe Boll didn\u2019t take such a half-assed approach to it. It\u2019s easily the worst movie of his career and that\u2019s saying a lot given the titles on his resume. I\u2019m not even sure RiffTrax can save this one. It just sucks.\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Blubberella (2011)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Phase 4 Films\/Comedy-Action-Horror\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 86 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (crude and sexual content throughout, pervasive language, some violence)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Uwe Boll\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Uwe Boll\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Jessica de Rooij\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Mathias Neumann\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: April 28, 2011 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Lindsay Hollister, Brendan Fletcher, Michael Pare, William Belli, Annett Culp, Clint Howard, Steffen Mennekes, Arved Birnbaum, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9291,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8957","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-comedies","category-this-sucks-so-bad"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/Blubberella-PIC.jpg?fit=620%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8957","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8957"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8957\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9293,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8957\/revisions\/9293"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9291"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8957"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8957"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8957"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}