{"id":9846,"date":"2024-12-10T18:05:45","date_gmt":"2024-12-10T23:05:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/?p=9846"},"modified":"2024-12-10T18:05:45","modified_gmt":"2024-12-10T23:05:45","slug":"the-house-next-door-meet-the-blacks-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/2024\/12\/10\/the-house-next-door-meet-the-blacks-2\/","title":{"rendered":"The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2<\/strong> (2021)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Lionsgate\/Comedy-Horror\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 97 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (pervasive language, sexual content, brief nudity)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Deon Taylor\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Corey Harrell and Deon Taylor\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Geoff Zanelli\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Dave Perkal\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: June 11, 2021 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Mike Epps, Katt Williams, Bresha Webb, Zulay Henao, Lil Duval, Michael Blackson, Rick Ross, Alex Henderson, Andrew Bachelor, Gary Owen, Snoop Dogg, Tyrin Turner, Tony Todd, Milan Taylor, Johann Sebastian, Shamea Morton, Cory Zooman Miller, Black Mike, Sisse Marie, Tim Johnson Jr., Devale Ellis, Jess Marie Carr, Jena Frumes.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Box Office: $2.8M (US)<\/p>\n

Rating<\/strong>: NO STARS!!!<\/p>\n

\u00a0WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?! That\u2019s what I asked myself all through The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2<\/strong>. Why did they make a sequel to Meet the Blacks, easily the worst \u201ccomedy\u201d of the past ten years? Why is it being shown in respectable theaters? Why am I wasting my time on it? I didn\u2019t think it was possible, but it\u2019s an even bigger piece of crap than its predecessor.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Should I even bother explaining the \u201cplot\u201d of The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2<\/strong>? Does it matter what it\u2019s about? In my non-humble opinion, it\u2019s about 97 minutes too long. Of course, that answer won\u2019t cut it with some folks, so I\u2019m left with the unpleasant task of reliving a horrible and horrific moviegoing experience. I hope you all appreciate what I do for you. Watching a movie this bad is tantamount to taking a bullet meant for somebody else. It\u2019s actually more painful if you want to know the truth.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Set four years after the events of Meet the Blacks, we find Carl Black (Epps, Next Friday) living in his childhood home in Chicago with his family, wife Lorena (Henao, Takers), college-age daughter Allie (Webb, Night School), teen son Carls Jr. (Henderson, Creed) and cousin Cronut (Duval, Scary Movie V) who lives in an RV in the driveway. Now a published author, he\u2019s having a hard time with his second book. His first book, about his surviving the purge in the first movie, wasn\u2019t exactly a best seller. One celebrity describes it as the worst book he ever read. He gets no respect from his family either. Lorena is constantly on him about having to work to support the family while he can\u2019t even be bothered to call a real estate agent about selling the house. Allie still goes around with her annoying boyfriend Freezee (Bachelor, Fifty Shades of Black) despite her father\u2019s objections. Junior just ignores him.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Late one night, a new neighbor moves into….. you guessed it, the house next door. Carl and Cronut immediately sense something isn\u2019t right about the new neighbor, Dr. Mamuwalde (Williams, Friday After Next). It isn\u2019t normal to move in the middle of the night, right? And is that a coffin they\u2019re carrying off the truck? Also, what\u2019s up with the hot babes moon-bathing in the backyard? They figure him for a pimp, but it\u2019s more than that. He\u2019s also a vampire and has his sights set on Lorena, the reincarnation of his true love from a previous life. Oh, is that a PLOT SPOILER<\/strong>? It sure is and you\u2019re welcome. Now you don\u2019t have to waste your hard-earned money to learn this shocking bit of info.<\/p>\n

\u00a0In a way, The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2<\/strong> is something of a relief. Since I returned to the cinema a few weeks ago, I\u2019ve been waiting for a truly heinous movie to rear its ugly head. Well, it finally happened and I\u2019m glad. Now I know I\u2019m back! Let me tell you, it doesn\u2019t get any worse than The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2<\/strong>. God, I hope not. This movie is all-caps BAD in big bronze letters. Like the original, it commits the worst sin a so-called comedy can. It\u2019s NOT funny. Not for a minute, not for a second, not for a millisecond, not even by accident. It is 100% laugh-free. Only a complete, card-carrying idiot would find anything funny about it. Sadly, there were at least two in attendance at the Saturday afternoon showing I went to. That\u2019s one thing I didn\u2019t miss about my sabbatical from the multiplex. Thank God stupidity isn\u2019t catching.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Need I bother discussing the lousy performances, bad writing or uninspired directing? It\u2019s an embarrassment to all involved, even Machete himself (Danny Trejo) as a neighbor who knows a thing or two about vampires. Even a quick cameo by Tony Todd (aka Candyman) does nothing to make it better. It\u2019s all bad even for a low-budget spoof of…. I\u2019m not sure what. Returning director Deon references Fright Night, The Burbs, Bram Stoker\u2019s Dracula and other movies, but he doesn\u2019t seem to have a specific target in mind. The only thing he really accomplishes is reinforcing every negative black stereotype with annoying characters like nerdy, neighborhood watch guy Rico (Turner, Menace II Society) who patrols the block on a tricycle. For the purposes of equal representation, there\u2019s also an extremely racist white neighbor (Owen, Think Like a Man 1 & 2) with a hot, sexy wife (Frumes) for Cronut to ogle. BTW, Cronut is thoroughly obnoxious.<\/p>\n

\u00a0The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2<\/strong> is less a movie than a minstrel show performed by black actors. That\u2019s not all. If this was the first movie shown to aliens from another planet, they\u2019d think the English language consists only of the f-word and the n-word. Neither word is funny the first time let alone the 1001st<\/sup> time.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I see no need to drag out my review of The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2<\/strong>. I HATED IT! I hated it with every fiber of my being. It\u2019s humorless, crass, shrill, moronic and absolutely offensive. I sat there gritting my teeth through most of it. I know what possessed me to see it; I\u2019m not sure if I\u2019ll ever forgive myself for succumbing to temptation. I certainly hope I can resist the third Meet the Blacks movie promised in a mid-credits bonus scene. Did I say promised? It\u2019s more like a terroristic threat. Excuse while I report it to the FBI.\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The House Next Door: Meet the Blacks 2 (2021)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Lionsgate\/Comedy-Horror\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 RT: 97 minutes\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Rated R (pervasive language, sexual content, brief nudity)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Director: Deon Taylor\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Screenplay: Corey Harrell and Deon Taylor\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Music: Geoff Zanelli\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cinematography: Dave Perkal\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Release date: June 11, 2021 (US)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cast: Mike Epps, Katt Williams, Bresha Webb, Zulay Henao, Lil Duval, Michael Blackson, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10111,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9846","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-comedies","category-this-sucks-so-bad"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Meet-the-Blacks-2-PIC.jpg?fit=620%2C348&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9846","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9846"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9846\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10113,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9846\/revisions\/10113"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10111"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9846"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9846"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/movieguy247.com\/MovieGuy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9846"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}